9 Terms of the Game and How They Are Defined by a Mom
By Samantha McConnell
It is that glorious time of year when the temperature cools and the leaves change to beautiful shades of reds and orange. Then there is the beautiful aroma of pumpkin, apple, crisp autumn air and PIGSKIN! That’s right, football season is here and it is in full swing! I know for many moms, football is all irreversibly stained clothes and filthy kids (which is ok!). Not to mention the trance that the men in our lives fall into when the game is on and the second language they suddenly pick up. Fear no more ladies. Here are nine of the most commonly used terms in football so that you can decode that jibberish your man is saying, as well as more practical uses for the terms as they apply to life as a mom!
1. Blackout: In football, this is when a game cannot be televised in the local market in which the team is playing. As a mom, this is the period between giving birth to your child up until they are about five. After this time, the fog of perpetual exhaustion begins to lift and you can once again feel like a player in your life.
2. Blind Side: This is the area behind the player, where they cannot see. In terms of being a mom, this is generally where the biggest messes and rule breaking takes place. Always check the blind side!
3. Clothesline: This is an illegal move in football where a player strikes an opponent in the face. Infant learning how to hold up his head, meet mom’s nose. Nose, meet ouch.
4. Controlling the Clock: This term refers to a team holding onto the ball longer than is really necessary, thus putting the opposing team at a disadvantage for having the ball less. In the world of mom, this is the game kids play when they are trying to postpone an unfavorable activity (in my experience, usual bath time and bedtime). It’s always just a “few more minutes”.
5. Defense: The team responsible for keeping the opposing team from scoring. As a mom, maintaining a team of tiny offensive players keeps you on the defense. Always.
6. Down and Out: In football, this is when a linebacker runs straight down the field, then suddenly aims toward the sideline. This is a common tactic used by a child when evading anything from vegetables to diaper changes. Be vigilant mom, you can outrun them.
7. Excessive Time Out: When a team calls more than the allotted three time outs. As a mom, this term does not exist.
8. Hail Mary: This is when the quarterback throws the ball without aiming for a particular receiver. A particle play happens, sometimes daily, at meal time with a mom and kids. Toss up the brussel sprouts and hope they land in someone’s belly; just preferably not the dogs.
9. Touchdown: Ah. My favorite. That pinnacle moment in the game of mom where you feel like you have scored. BEDTIME.
For a full football glossary, go here: http://football.about.com/cs/football101/g/gl_falsestart.htm
