By Jennifer Chung, Kinsights.com
If you’re a football fan, your eyes have been glued to the news for updates on how the NFL is handling abuse issues within the league. More than one player has their career on the line for making questionable decisions when it comes to disciplining their kids. As parents, we all make mistakes and fall short from time to time, but when it comes to keeping our anger in check, we can’t afford to get it wrong. Keeping kids safe has to be our number one priority. Below you’ll find a few tips to help set boundaries and prevent tempers from flaring.
- Be proactive – Praise is a great tool for kids. Kids will act out for attention, negative attention is better than no attention, so be proactive and keep them focused on things they do well.
- Be consistent – Kids need consistency to feel safe. When they don’t feel safe, they will push boundaries so they know how far they can go. Having a clear set of rules and consequences is vital for kids to thrive. “No” always needs to mean “No.” For instance, not playing on the stairs should never be up for discussion. If kids can sometimes play on the stairs, it becomes a game for them and they will continue to test the waters.
- Validate their feelings – Toddlers can’t always articulate how they feel so they will act out in a tantrum. Provide choices for them to feel empowered and deal with a situation they are not happy with. For example, if a toddler doesn’t want to go in the car, explain that sometimes we all have do things we don’t want to do, then offer to let them bring their favorite book or doll on the trip.
- Designate a safe place – Time outs can be effective for older kids, but this tactic isn’t always effective for toddlers. Create a cozy corner where they are not removed from the family but in a safe place where you can redirect their attention. Stay calm until they can relax and get past their tantrum.
- Take time to cool down – Teach kids to count to 4 when they are upset. Model that behavior when you’re upset and need to catch your breath before responding to the situation. Providing a cooling down period can be beneficial for both of you in the midst of heated circumstances.
Discipline in its simplest form is teaching kids how to self-correct and how to behave in accordance with accepted rules at home, school or wherever life may take you. Keeping that in mind, you don’t want to do anything that will undermine your ability to mold your kids into healthy well balanced people. Never spank. Hitting a child will kill any trust that exists in a parent / child relationship. Spanking teaches kids to be aggressive and develop the need to protect themselves at all costs. It destroys their ability to feel safe and accepted. Hitting and love cannot be reconciled in a child’s mind; therefore, kids will develop an unhealthy association between love and abuse. Providing age appropriate discipline and consequences will systematically train kids to develop healthy attitudes toward adult authority and boundaries.
About Jennifer Chung & Kinsights:
Jennifer Chung is a parenting expert and co-founder of Kinsights.com: part parenting community, part online health record. Kinsights provides parents with a safe place to seek answers to their questions while also helping them track their child’s health information. Organize your child’s growth and developmental milestones, immunizations, medications, allergies, and more. Connect with Kinsights at https://kinsights.com to learn more and sign-up! You can also follow them on Facebook and Twitter (@kinsights).
