By Dana DeMercurio
If you’ve had it with love, or perhaps just had it with this particular Hallmark holiday, then maybe this will be your year for an Anti-Valentine’s Day. Yes, it’s a thing. And no, you won’t need to buy any cynical cards with sarcastic quotes or angry cats on them in order to celebrate.
Whether you’re single, married, divorced, separated or in that awkward yet oh-so-familiar we’ve gone on three dates and I really want to sleep with him but fear he won’t respect me stage in your relationship, there’s no shame in celebrating Anti-Valentine’s Day. Before your valentine shells out $250 on dinner and an extra $50 on chocolate which will only end up on your thighs (it’s a money-saving tool as much as it is the shortest-lived diet of your life), give Cupid the night off – and perhaps the middle finger – by reveling in some of our favorite Anti-V-Day activities.
1. Play Hooky – Thanks to the calendar gods, Valentine’s Day falls on Saturday this year. We know that there are plenty of people working on the weekends, so here’s our advice: play hooky! You’ve got PTO racked up anyway, so why not ditch the desk and your annoying love-hungry coworkers with their heart shaped chocolates and enjoy the day to yourself for once? Book a mani-pedi, get a massage…hell, stay in your pajamas all day and eat an entire large pizza to yourself! Who cares?!
2. Kitchen Duty: Do not, we repeat, DO NOT go out to dinner! Instead, resolve to stay home and cook a fabulous Anti-V-Day feast for yourself or family. Better yet, make it a party! Call up your single friends, married friends, and ‘I hate men’ friends and make a night of it.
3. Stick It to the Man: Your ex, that is. If you’re finding yourself newly single due to a bad break-up or divorce, perhaps your time this Anti- V-Day will be best spent at the pawn shop. Cash in on his loss by selling rings, bracelets, watches and other gifts he gave you before the relationship went south. It’s totally cathartic and a potential money-maker, so either way you’ve hit the jackpot!
4. Break a Sweat: You may or may not have some pent up aggression, and what better way to release those inner demons than punching stuff (not people)? Head down to your local boxing studio for some of the best stress-relief money can buy. Not into physical contact? Try paint balling. It’s a great way to get your adrenaline going and may even kick-start your libido (because who knows). If these options are unavailable in your neighborhood, we’re pretty sure no one will judge you if you just buy a piñata and beat the hell out of it in your own backyard (just be sure to share the candy with your concerned neighbors).
5. Tell Your Tale of Woe: This one is not for the faint of heart. If you’ve got the gusto (or perhaps a heightened blood alcohol level), find a local club hosting an open mic night and commiserate with others. Another cathartic option for those willing to share their story with complete strangers. Our recommendation: get a few drinks in first. Better yet, turn it into a drinking game! Anytime someone says the words ‘heart,’ ‘love,’ ‘break up,’ or ‘ex,’ take a swig! You won’t even remember all that you divulged come tomorrow. Hooray for drinking games and the magic they work! Just be sure to have a designated driver in tow.