Divorce is hard enough to go through as an adult, however, when kids are involved the struggle can reach a whole new level. I’ve compiled a list of do’s and don’ts that will make co-parenting a little bit easier, so that you and your ex are able to focus on being the best parents you can be.

Do: Communicate with your ex. As much as you likely don’t want to communicate with your ex after a divorce, you need to remember you both have a child together, and the communication will be beneficial to that child. Talk with your ex to determine what will work best for you. If something comes up, such as: your child gets sick, breaks a limb, has a fight at school, etc. while you’re not around, you’ll need to know so you can be the best parent you can be. You and your ex will need to establish a simple means of communication – be it a weekly text, email, or a phone call – so that both parents have a firm grasp of what’s going on with your child at any given time.

Don’t: Trash talk your ex. Trash talking might be tempting at times, but it’s not something you ever want to do in front of your child. Listening to you say terrible things about your ex could potentially damage your child’s relationship with the other parent, and that’s really not worth it. Learn to let go of your frustrations and focus on what’s really most important – your child’s health, happiness and well -being. With two caring parents nearby, whether married or divorced, a child will likely be able to achieve those things.

Do: Stay positive. It can be difficult to stay positive in the midst of a divorce and even after, but you should strive to stay positive for the sake of your child. Make positive statements about your ex in front of your child, and focus on building your child up by encouraging their strengths. Your child might experience anger and depression that has stemmed from the divorce, so you’ll need to be so positive that your mood rubs off on them.

Don’t: Force a child to choose sides. Do whatever it takes to keep your child out of a messy divorce. Don’t ask them to choose sides. Instead, create a fair schedule wherein your child will have the opportunity to spend time with both yourself and your ex. Forcing a child to choose between Mom or Dad can be detrimental to your child. Remember that you’re a parent – first and foremost – and do whatever will be best for your child.

Do: Find consistency. Co-parenting works best when there’s consistency — consistency in schedule, rules and visitation. You’ll need to communicate with your ex in order to establish consistency in your child’s life. Having this consistency and routine will help your child feel more comfortable and at ease within the chaos of divorce.

When in doubt, remember that your child is more important than anything else, and try to be the best parent you can be.

Happy co-parenting!

DaddyNickell

Parenting Expert and father of 7, Robert Nickell (aka Daddy Nickell) offers his “5 cents” worth of advice to expectant and new parents.  Daddy Nickell is the founder of Daddy & Co., delivery room duds and daddy gifts and apparel for every stage of fatherhood, and the Daily Daddy Blog.  He is also the creator and producer of “My Life as a Dad,” the groundbreaking new web series that showcases celebrity fathers offering their personal experiences and parenting tips.

The post How to Successfully Co-Parent appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

When you are a divorced parent, you’re undoubtedly going to run into tricky situations from time to time. Often, children will miss the other parent in-between visits, and when this happens you’ll need to have a plan and know what to do to ease the transition and comfort your child. I’ve put together three tips that’ll help you do just that.

1.  Freedom of Expression: It’s perfectly normal for your child to be sad and miss the other parent while spending time with you. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you and it doesn’t mean they love the other parent more than they love you. So, first and foremost – don’t get frustrated and try to squash or limit their expression and emotion. Allow your child time to feel sad and be there to comfort them while they do it; they need that. Be ready to say things like, “You’ll see Mom on Monday,” or even allow your child a phone call to the other parent if necessary.

2.  Keepsake: Make sure your child has a keepsake from the other parent that they can carry with them, hold onto, and snuggle at night that reminds them of the other parent. This could be a photograph, a special toy or stuffed animal, or an item of clothing. Whatever it is, it will be a comfort to your child when they miss the other parent. Be sure your child has something of yours or from you as well that they can carry with them while they’re apart from you. Chances are your child is missing you while spending time with the other parent, too.

3.  Communication: Talk to your child about their feelings, where you ask questions and spend time just listening. You’ll likely be surprised by the things they tell you, and listening will allow you the opportunity to have a greater understanding of what your child might be going through internally. Look for kid-friendly books and television shows that discuss divorce and share those with your child, so they know they’re not alone in all the chaos.

Remember to make the most of the time you get with your child, as it may be limited. Your child missing the other parent shouldn’t take away from the time you get to spend with them. If anything, you can help them through this change and build a bond that will last a lifetime.

Good luck, you can do it!

Daddy Nickell

Parenting Expert and father of 7, Robert Nickell (aka Daddy Nickell) offers his “5 cents” worth of advice to expectant and new parents. Daddy Nickell is the founder of Daddy & Co., delivery room duds and daddy gifts and apparel for every stage of fatherhood, and the Daily Daddy Blog. He is also the creator and producer of “My Life as a Dad,” the groundbreaking new web series that showcases celebrity fathers offering their personal experiences and parenting tips.

The post What to do When Your Child Misses Mom (or Dad) appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.