By Katie Bugbee, Care.com Senior Managing Editor

My goal: Raise siblings who were “close.” Close in age and close in friendship.

My plan: Have two kids as close together as (I felt was) possible.

My result: We had two kids under the age of two.

Granted, it was a very short time that my oldest child was still one, however, he barely spoke, was still in diapers and was attached at my hip. So adding a new baby was not the easiest transition. While I still can’t promise they’ll be best friends for life, here are some tricks that worked as we eased our second baby into our daily lives. If you find yourself in the same situation, I hope they’ll work for you.

And please share anything that worked for you below!

Create Special Toys for Quiet Times. It’s amazing how quickly you realize you can juggle once you have two kids. And while your hospital stay is all about you and your newborn, life at home will be focused on the big kid all over again. Until the baby cries or needs to eat. That’s when you need to figure out something he or she can do by himself, or with you helping one-handed. I recommend creating a special bin of toys and books for these times. You can call a fun name (the Lila-Bin) and when you need to nurse the baby – or have some peace and quiet — she takes her bin and pulls something “special” out.

Get a Baby Doll. It’s so hard to explain to a 1-year old that a new baby is coming home. Or that a baby is inside your belly. The good news is that in a few months, he won’t remember a time without his new sibling. But it’s important to create a loving sense of babies pre-and post-sibling arrival. While you’re still pregnant, get your child a baby doll he can hold, sway, and sing to. Include the baby in bedtime story routines, and have him be in charge of his baby. Then, once the new baby arrives, he can hold his baby when you hold yours. This should help him understand how to love and nurture a newborn.

Make all adjustments now. If you’re planning on moving big sister out of her room or crib, or change from daycare to a nanny, do it as far in advance as possible. You don’t want her to associate the new baby with the other big change that’s happened. I recommend not making any big changes, unless absolutely necessary. So many families rush the big-kid bed or start potty training to prep for a new baby, but your other baby isn’t ready, and two months later, you’re dealing with a toddler who won’t stay in bed or who is having accidents while on errands.  (And what’s worse than cleaning up after a toddler who has an accident in public? Cleaning up the accident with a crying newborn in tow.)

Give big sib jobs. There will be small ways you can let your oldest feel in control of all the change and attention the new baby is causing. Create jobs that he’d find fun, like letting him pick out the baby’s outfit, throwing out the dirty diaper, choosing a book to read, or singing him to sleep.

Create special time. Aim to set aside at least ten minutes of special 1-on-1 time for your older child each day. It might be while the baby is napping, right before bed, or when a partner or helper is home. Let her choose the activity (give choices) and play along. The sense that she has you alone will help keep her from acting out.

Allow for two babies. You might find that your oldest wants to be a baby again. He wants to drink from a bottle, be held more, get carried all the time. This is normal and okay. You won’t permanently set him back if you allow for baby-like behavior. Eventually, you can get him to talk about how cool it is to be big and the special things big kids can do – like go on swings, skip, have races, go sledding, choose books, say words, and pride in not being a baby will come back. But you might just have to accept two babies for a little while.

The post Tips for Having Two Under Two appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

As parents we have all had a tired toddler who hit his limit while out shopping or an excitable preschooler who just wanted to get his way.  The next time you take an outing, try some of these tips to make the outing enjoyable for everyone.

1.  You probably know when your child is on the verge of a tantrum or outburst.  If you see it coming, get up and leave with your child before things really escalate.  Try to sit next to the aisle if you’re at a seated event so you don’t have to climb over people to make a quick escape.

2.  Bring a special bag of quiet toys to keep your child occupied.  Your child might be able to sit quietly for part of a public event, but it might be tough for him to sit through an hour-long concert or service.  A coloring book, Etch-A-Sketch, or felt board are all great toy options.

3.  Practice whispering.  This may sound basic, but sometimes toddlers just don’t know how to whisper. You can use a hand puppet to demonstrate outside voice, inside voice, and whisper voice.

4.  Set expectations ahead of time and make it fun. Talking to your kids about the event you’re going to, getting them excited, and explaining why it’s important to be respectful might help make them be more attentive and engaged.

5.  When taking your kids to a public venue like church, a restaurant, or an outdoor concert at a park, the first line of defense is to make sure it is an age-appropriate situation. Second, set the expectations for what is acceptable behavior. Third, tell your children in advance what the consequences are for being disruptive in public. Finally, be prepared to follow through even if it means removing yourself and your child from the situation.

6.  Empower your child to make good choices in public. When it comes to a power struggle, allowing them to be in control of the outcome can be quite liberating.  Be specific about the behavior you expect. For instance, when sitting in church, tell them or not to kick the back of the pew in front of you.  If that specific behavior happens, ask if they would like to stop or go to the nursery.  If they act out again, remove them from the worship center.

7.  When eating out at a restaurant, take plenty of things to keep your tot entertained.  When feasible, choose a family-friendly place to dine at and pack a bag of coloring books, puzzles, and small toys to keep them occupied.  Let your child know that if he is well-behaved, he can choose which dessert they would like to eat. If your kids get overwhelmed with too much activity, try dining outside of busy service times.

8.  If your child chooses to act out in a public venue, remain calm.  Try to use “when, then” statements, such as “When you calm down, then we can talk about what is upsetting you and find a solution” or “When you act out, then we have to cut our time short and go home.”  Use a tactic like counting down from 10 to help them regain their composure so you can reason with them and help them feel better.  Take them to the lobby or the restroom to gain some privacy and allow other customers to enjoy their experience.

9.  When your child acts out in public, be clear about the behavior you want to see and do not focus on the current negative behavior you want to stop.  If your child is jumping on the booth seat and annoying the customers next to you, say, “Please sit on your bottom and face forward,” instead of, “Stop jumping on the seat.”  Be calm and respectful when making your request. Make sure to give your request only once so your child is used to obeying the first time.

10.  When in public, avoid giving your child negative attention during a temper tantrum.  This will only prolong the event.  Give an immediate consequence for not behaving appropriately.  Acting out can often just be the desire to be the center of attention.  If you respond positively, this will help defuse the situation.

When kids act out in public parents often feel tense and frustrated.  Kids will react to those emotions and the situation can escalate. Remember remaining calm, cool and collected will help defuse the situation.  Keep an activity bag in the car so you’re always prepared for an impromptu outing. Setting behavioral expectations in advance, empowering them to make appropriate choices and praising them when they do well will help change negative behaviors into positive ones over time.

 
About Jennifer Chung & Kinsights:
Jennifer Chung is a parenting expert and co-founder of Kinsights.com: part parenting community, part online health record. Kinsights provides parents with a safe place to seek answers to their questions while also helping them track their child’s health information. Organize your child’s growth and developmental milestones, immunizations, medications, allergies, and more.  Connect with Kinsights at https://kinsights.com to learn more and sign-up! You can also follow them on Facebook and Twitter (@kinsights).

The post How To Handle Your Child’s Public Temper Tantrums And Outbursts appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

For most parents, potty training is a daunting task (whether it’s kid #1 or #7, like me). We stress, bribe, beg and pray it goes quick and easy. But the fact of the matter is it’s different for each child and there’s not one prescription for perfect potty training. There are, however, tried and true tips that you can put into action to help the process along.  Here are a few tips that have worked great for our family:

Step one—Wait for your child to show signs of readiness, Step two – role model, yes that means letting them watch you in the bathroom, and tell them about the process, Step three – practice with them, have the sit on the potty for 1 to 1.5 minutes around the time they should have to eliminate waste, Step four – use positive reinforcement like praise when they make potty in the toilet.  Keep in mind accidents will happen.  Kids often have accidents because they are busy and forget or don’t yet realize how long they can hold it.  When this happens, have them change themselves and put their clothes in the laundry.  Don’t get upset with them when it happens continue to be encouraging of their progress.  Be prepared for accidents by bringing extra clothes to daycare and when running errands.

Be Patient with the Process—One of the challenges of potty training is that as parents are we want to get through it and be done with the process.  One of the mental hurdles we need to get through is allowing the process to work at your child’s pace.  Using the Potty Watch can help remind kids to go sit and the potty.  That takes the onus off the parent help kids take responsibility for making to the toilet on time.  The watch plays a fun tune to help them get excited about the process.  You can change the increments as the child’s success rate goes up.

Give Lots of Praise—One of the best ways to help kids be successful with potty training is to use hugs, tickles, praise and positive statements for rewards.  A chart to track progress is a great visual to see how they are getting better at using the toilet.  If you have a resistant child, use other means of rewards to get them motivated.

Learning to Toilet Train is a Process—Kids need to be able to physically control their body.  They need to show signs of readiness emotionally.  They need to cognitively be aware of expectations about using the toilet.  Step one – Look for signs of readiness, Step two – Explain the process and expectations, Step three – Take the child to the store to pick out big boy underpants or big girl panties, Step four – allow the child to run around naked at home to ease in getting on the potty when they have to go, Step five – praise them for successes.

Toilet Training Should be Fun—Use books and videos to reinforce the idea of going potty on the toilet.  Have multiple potty chairs/toilets available.  Kids can’t hold it for long periods of time as they are learning to control sensations.  Rather than ask if they need to go potty, tell them it’s time to go and sit them on the potty at various time.  Watch for behaviors like fidgeting or crossing their legs.  Help them to recognize what they are feeling to help increase their success rate.  Praise them for their progress.  Making a big deal about making potty in the toilet reinforces their desire to do well.

Good luck and happy parenting!

Sincerely,

DaddyNickell

Parenting Expert and father of 7, Robert Nickell (aka Daddy Nickell) offers his “5 cents” worth of advice to expectant and new parents.  Daddy Nickell is the founder of Daddy & Co., delivery room duds and daddy gifts and apparel for every stage of fatherhood, and the Daily Daddy Blog.  He is also the creator and producer of “My Life as a Dad,” the groundbreaking new web series that showcases celebrity fathers offering their personal experiences and parenting tips.

The post 5 Tips to Potty Train Your Child appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

For those parents who have yet to experience the terrible twos, here is a quick glance at your (possible) future:  your toddler has reached that delicate stage in life where the only word in their vocabulary seems to be “no,” and the only form of emotional expression involves blood-curdling screams and the ever-frequent temper tantrums that usually get you a few scornful looks in public places.   

But fear not, restless parents! – there is hope for you yet.  In order to conquer the terrible twos – and yes, it’s possible – you have to first understand that the defiance, anger and frustration your toddler is showing is not directed toward you.  Let us explain:

As your child begins to gain independence with walking, they start to take on small tasks that the average adult doesn’t think twice about.  When they are unable to reach that bottle of juice or climb onto the couch themselves, they get frustrated – a normal reaction.  Because their motor and language skills are undeveloped at that age, they have little recourse for emotional expression.  Once motor and language skills develop (around age 3-4), tantrums should decrease. 

In the meantime, however, parents have to keep their cool and remember they are the adult in the situation. 

We understand that temper tantrums are exhausting, and it’s usually only the child who gets the privilege of napping afterward.  Parents should remain calm, cool and collected in the face of tantrums.  Ignoring your child is a common approach, but when in public, this method isn’t the most appropriate. 

Instead, take your child to a quiet area and sit with him until the tantrum subsides, never giving into their demands.  Remain calm and speak gently, because if your temper flares, you can be sure your child’s will as well.  

Preventing tantrums all together is near impossible, but if you can recognize the signs, you may be able to manage them better.  Boredom, hunger and fatigue are the three key culprits, so make sure you have a snack on hand, set aside plenty of time for naps, and have a few games or activities planned through the day to keep potential tantrums at bay.  

The post Tackling the Terrible Twos appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

Spring has sprung and everyone is itching to get outside and have some fun. If you have toddlers at home sometimes you have to be a little bit creative to ensure your children enjoy playing outside and exploring the outdoors. I’ve compiled a list of fun, toddler-friendly activities you can enjoy with your child this spring, summer and beyond!

Create a Sand Pit: Kids love to play in the sand, but not all of us are fortunate to live near a beach, so sometimes you have to get creative by bringing the sand to your backyard. I suggest buying a sand pit that you can fill up and keep in your backyard. I recommend a sandpit that comes with a cover, so you can keep rainwater and other such things out of the pit while your child isn’t playing in it. In addition to just the pit you’ll need tools and toys that are sandpit friendly! Shovels and buckets are just the beginning. If you get creative your child will surely enjoy hours of fun and play in their new backyard sand pit.

Head Out and Explore: There’s surely a lot to explore right in your own backyard! A simple walk around the neighborhood boasts lots of fun activities like collecting rocks, counting the number of cats and dogs you see, etc. Hiking, biking and playing in a nearby park are all fun and easy options that I highly recommend, too. My kids and I often walk to the park together looking for bugs and counting cats along the way. Once we make it to the park we play on the swings and have a snack before heading back home. It’s a fun outing my toddlers always look forward to.

Get Artsy: Invest in some sidewalk chalk or washable paint and let your little one’s decorate your driveway however they see fit. Chalk allows children to be creative with colors and designs, and you can even make it educational by talking to your children about colors, shapes and numbers while they draw. Drawing with sidewalk chalk can be a great bonding activity for siblings, too, as they’re working together to create a masterpiece of sorts!

Splish Splash: It’s all about the kiddie pool, right? Of course heading to the local aquatic center is always a fun outing, but having a kiddie pool right in your own backyard is a must! Toddlers will enjoy learning about water, discovering what types of things sink versus float and splashing around on a warm day. Please supervise your child whenever they’re in or nearby to the kiddie pool.

There’s plenty to do outside, so what are you waiting for? Enjoy spring outdoors with your toddler!

Happy parenting!

Sincerely,

Daddy Nickell

Robert Nickell, aka Daddy Nickell, father of 7, offers his “5 cents” worth of advice to expectant and new parents.  Daddy Nickell is the founder of Daddy & Co., delivery room duds and daddy gifts and apparel, and the Daily Daddy Blog which covers topics about parenting all from a Dad’s perspective.

The post Outdoor Playtime with Toddlers appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

As babies grow into toddlerhood they pass through many developmental milestones.  Learning to share is one of them.  Sharing, just like everything else up to this point, is a practiced skill.  Kids aren’t intentionally being selfish when they don’t want to share, they are simply acting their age developmentally.  So, don’t be embarrassed when your two year old grabs a toy and shouts “MINE”, simply turn it into a teachable moment. 

Try these simple tips to help teach your toddler how to share and have a good attitude:

1.  Create sharing opportunities – Sharing is not a natural response for a toddler, the concept must be taught. Be patient, don’t rush the process – and they will catch on. Don’t force your child to share. Instead, create opportunities for him to include others and share his belongings. Coach him through the event prior to guests arriving.  Host a playgroup in your home to create a safe practice space. He may be unwilling at first, but with practice he will see that he has other toys available to play with.  Redirect his attention and eventually he will be okay with other children playing with his toys too. To make it easier for him, remove his favorite toy from the whole equation and don’t allow any child to play with it during play time.

2.  Set time limits – Set the expectation by saying, “You can play with it for 10 minutes, and then it is Sally’s turn.” Toddlers have a hard time playing together as it is so setting limits will encourage sharing. Setting a timer works great, when the bell chimes it is time to change toys. Your child may be reluctant to pass the toy on so don’t be surprised if you have to intervene.

3.  Reward good behavior –  If sharing goes well, praise him on a job well done in front of the group.  Say things like, “You’re such a big boy for sharing your toys with Tommy,” or “Doesn’t it feel good to play nice with your friends?”  Kids love stickers.  Give a sticker for good behavior or a special snack at lunch.  Make the reward immediate as toddlers have a short attention span.  At dinner time, have him tell Daddy what a good boy he was by sharing his toys at playtime. Continual positive reinforcement goes a long way with kids because they have an innate desire to please you.

4.  Model your behavior – Kids will imitate what they see.  Offer opportunities for to share with them by sharing a bite of your food.  Talk them through the process, “This is a yummy sandwich, I would sure like to share it with you,” then offer them a bite.  End the conversation with “Thanks for sharing with me. It makes me feel good to share things with you.”  Make sharing a positive experience with them so they will associate that feeling when sharing their toys with friends.

5.  Teach delayed gratification – Kids want everything right now.  Offer them choices like, “If you let Susie take a turn playing with your doll now, we can go to the park tomorrow and play on the slide.”  Make the reward for sharing bigger than just playing with the toy in that moment.  Giving them control over the process also makes them feel grown up. 

Start teaching the concept of sharing early.  Talk out loud when you are sharing with them to familiarize them with the process of sharing.  When introducing the idea of sharing to a group of kids, set rules so everyone knows they are expected to share.  Model offering toys for friends to play with in front of your child so they can model your behavior; i.e. “Sam, would you like to play with Ethan’s truck today?” Then motion to Ethan to pass the truck to Sam.  Don’t punish them when they don’t quite get it, express your disappointment and encourage them to do better next time.  Intervene when you must to keep the peace, but with consistent reinforcement sharing will become a natural response as the child grows older.

About Jennifer Chung

Jennifer Chung is a parenting expert and co-founder of Kinsights: part parenting community, part online health record. Kinsights provides parents with a safe place to seek answers to their questions while also helping them track their child’s health information. Organize your child’s growth and developmental milestones, immunizations, medications, allergies, and more.  Connect with Kinsights at https://kinsights.com to learn more and sign-up! You can also follow them on Facebook and Twitter (@kinsights).

The post 5 Tips to Teach Toddlers to Share appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

An important lesson every child learns one way or another throughout his life is how to share with others. With seven kids of my own, I’ve learned many tips that have helped me teach my children to share.

Lead by Example: When teaching your child to share it’s important to lead by example and do your part by sharing your things with those around you. Share whenever possible and make a point to discuss the importance of sharing with your child.  There are lots of things to can share with your family everyday, and when you do so, make a point to highlight the act of sharing.

Positive Reinforcement: It’s all about the positive reinforcement and encouragement. You have to make your child want to share. One way to inspire this behavior is with rewards. Allow your child to earn points/stickers/rewards every time they share, and after a certain amount of time they can work up to a greater reward such as a special activity of their choosing. Decide upon a reward system that works for your family and be consistent.

Communicate: If your child is having a hard time sharing talk with them and try to figure out what’s going on. Discuss why sharing is important and is a nice thing to do. Give your child the opportunity to genuinely and openly explain why they don’t want to share their belongings, and go from there. You might just be surprised at what you learn and uncover.

Be Patient: Learning to share doesn’t happen overnight, and often times being overly possessive can be a phase your toddler will grow out of. In times of doubt, just be patient and positive and continue working toward the ultimate goal of sharing. 

These tips have been helpful for me in the past, and I hope they’ll work for you too.

Happy parenting! 

Sincerely,

Daddy Nickell

Robert Nickell, aka Daddy Nickell, father of 7, offers his “5 cents” worth of advice to expectant and new parents.  Daddy Nickell is the founder of Daddyscrubs.com, delivery room duds and daddy gifts and apparel, and the DaddyScrubs blog where he covers topics about parenting all from a Dad’s perspective.

The post Teaching Toddlers How to Share appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.