As parents we have all had a tired toddler who hit his limit while out shopping or an excitable preschooler who just wanted to get his way.  The next time you take an outing, try some of these tips to make the outing enjoyable for everyone.

1.  You probably know when your child is on the verge of a tantrum or outburst.  If you see it coming, get up and leave with your child before things really escalate.  Try to sit next to the aisle if you’re at a seated event so you don’t have to climb over people to make a quick escape.

2.  Bring a special bag of quiet toys to keep your child occupied.  Your child might be able to sit quietly for part of a public event, but it might be tough for him to sit through an hour-long concert or service.  A coloring book, Etch-A-Sketch, or felt board are all great toy options.

3.  Practice whispering.  This may sound basic, but sometimes toddlers just don’t know how to whisper. You can use a hand puppet to demonstrate outside voice, inside voice, and whisper voice.

4.  Set expectations ahead of time and make it fun. Talking to your kids about the event you’re going to, getting them excited, and explaining why it’s important to be respectful might help make them be more attentive and engaged.

5.  When taking your kids to a public venue like church, a restaurant, or an outdoor concert at a park, the first line of defense is to make sure it is an age-appropriate situation. Second, set the expectations for what is acceptable behavior. Third, tell your children in advance what the consequences are for being disruptive in public. Finally, be prepared to follow through even if it means removing yourself and your child from the situation.

6.  Empower your child to make good choices in public. When it comes to a power struggle, allowing them to be in control of the outcome can be quite liberating.  Be specific about the behavior you expect. For instance, when sitting in church, tell them or not to kick the back of the pew in front of you.  If that specific behavior happens, ask if they would like to stop or go to the nursery.  If they act out again, remove them from the worship center.

7.  When eating out at a restaurant, take plenty of things to keep your tot entertained.  When feasible, choose a family-friendly place to dine at and pack a bag of coloring books, puzzles, and small toys to keep them occupied.  Let your child know that if he is well-behaved, he can choose which dessert they would like to eat. If your kids get overwhelmed with too much activity, try dining outside of busy service times.

8.  If your child chooses to act out in a public venue, remain calm.  Try to use “when, then” statements, such as “When you calm down, then we can talk about what is upsetting you and find a solution” or “When you act out, then we have to cut our time short and go home.”  Use a tactic like counting down from 10 to help them regain their composure so you can reason with them and help them feel better.  Take them to the lobby or the restroom to gain some privacy and allow other customers to enjoy their experience.

9.  When your child acts out in public, be clear about the behavior you want to see and do not focus on the current negative behavior you want to stop.  If your child is jumping on the booth seat and annoying the customers next to you, say, “Please sit on your bottom and face forward,” instead of, “Stop jumping on the seat.”  Be calm and respectful when making your request. Make sure to give your request only once so your child is used to obeying the first time.

10.  When in public, avoid giving your child negative attention during a temper tantrum.  This will only prolong the event.  Give an immediate consequence for not behaving appropriately.  Acting out can often just be the desire to be the center of attention.  If you respond positively, this will help defuse the situation.

When kids act out in public parents often feel tense and frustrated.  Kids will react to those emotions and the situation can escalate. Remember remaining calm, cool and collected will help defuse the situation.  Keep an activity bag in the car so you’re always prepared for an impromptu outing. Setting behavioral expectations in advance, empowering them to make appropriate choices and praising them when they do well will help change negative behaviors into positive ones over time.

 
About Jennifer Chung & Kinsights:
Jennifer Chung is a parenting expert and co-founder of Kinsights.com: part parenting community, part online health record. Kinsights provides parents with a safe place to seek answers to their questions while also helping them track their child’s health information. Organize your child’s growth and developmental milestones, immunizations, medications, allergies, and more.  Connect with Kinsights at https://kinsights.com to learn more and sign-up! You can also follow them on Facebook and Twitter (@kinsights).

The post How To Handle Your Child’s Public Temper Tantrums And Outbursts appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

For those parents who have yet to experience the terrible twos, here is a quick glance at your (possible) future:  your toddler has reached that delicate stage in life where the only word in their vocabulary seems to be “no,” and the only form of emotional expression involves blood-curdling screams and the ever-frequent temper tantrums that usually get you a few scornful looks in public places.   

But fear not, restless parents! – there is hope for you yet.  In order to conquer the terrible twos – and yes, it’s possible – you have to first understand that the defiance, anger and frustration your toddler is showing is not directed toward you.  Let us explain:

As your child begins to gain independence with walking, they start to take on small tasks that the average adult doesn’t think twice about.  When they are unable to reach that bottle of juice or climb onto the couch themselves, they get frustrated – a normal reaction.  Because their motor and language skills are undeveloped at that age, they have little recourse for emotional expression.  Once motor and language skills develop (around age 3-4), tantrums should decrease. 

In the meantime, however, parents have to keep their cool and remember they are the adult in the situation. 

We understand that temper tantrums are exhausting, and it’s usually only the child who gets the privilege of napping afterward.  Parents should remain calm, cool and collected in the face of tantrums.  Ignoring your child is a common approach, but when in public, this method isn’t the most appropriate. 

Instead, take your child to a quiet area and sit with him until the tantrum subsides, never giving into their demands.  Remain calm and speak gently, because if your temper flares, you can be sure your child’s will as well.  

Preventing tantrums all together is near impossible, but if you can recognize the signs, you may be able to manage them better.  Boredom, hunger and fatigue are the three key culprits, so make sure you have a snack on hand, set aside plenty of time for naps, and have a few games or activities planned through the day to keep potential tantrums at bay.  

The post Tackling the Terrible Twos appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

Simply put – it’s inevitable – your child will have a public meltdown at one point or another; that’s not something you can control. What you can control, however, is how you handle that public tantrum.

Through my years of experience raising children, I’ve learned a great deal about the public tantrum, and I’m here to help you know the best ways to handle them.

Ignore: Depending on the parent, the child and the location of the tantrum sometimes the best thing to do is to ignore your child’s outburst and complete whatever task you were working to accomplish. Often times if the child sees and realizes that they aren’t getting a reaction from you by screaming or causing a scene then they’ll stop all on their own. When “ignoring” your child’s public tantrum it’s important to remain close to your child without making eye contact or talking.

Diffuse: Ignoring the situation does not work for all children – or parents. If you need to react to your child’s tantrum work towards diffusing the situation by kneeling down on their level and comforting your child with gentle rubs on the back and a soothing “sshhh” or a quiet song.

Warning: Many children will react to “warnings” from their parents. If your child is screaming in public bend down and tell them what they’re doing is not appropriate and this is their warning. Give them a matter of seconds – some parents will even count down – to compose themselves, and if they can’t then you move onto another strategy.

Distract: Young kids have short attention spans, and sometimes you can use this to your advantage. If your child is having a meltdown sometimes putting them into a different setting works wonders. If they’re upset because they want candy from the market, pick them up, put them in the cart seat, give them the toy you brought from home and keep moving along. 

Remove: If nothing seems to be working, pick your child up and remove them from the situation. Take them outside or into a bathroom where you can calmly soothe your child and end the meltdown. If this is not working the best thing you can likely do, as a parent, is to pack things up and head home.

In any situation you need to explain to your child that their behavior was unacceptable, and sometimes this conversation works better after your child has had time to cool down. 

When handling public tantrums it’s important to remain calm and firm. Don’t let your child manipulate you in this situation as that can turn into a recurring problem. And remember, this is just a phase, and your child WILL outgrow it soon.

Good luck!

Daddy Nickell

Robert Nickell, aka Daddy Nickell, father of 6, offers his “5 cents” worth of advice to expectant and new parents. Daddy Nickell is the founder of Daddyscrubs.com, delivery room duds and daddy gear for dads, and the Daddyscrubs.com blog where he covers topics about parenting and the latest baby and kids gear, all from a Dad’s perspective.

The post How to Handle Public Tantrums appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.