“It’s inevitable that at one time or another life will punch us hard in the gut; no one is immune to experiencing tragedy or failure,” Anderson says. “But when it’s our turn to feel life’s stomach blow, how will we handle it? Will we ‘go the extra mile’ and passionately keep on living, or will we just give up and go through the motions?”

In his interviews, Anderson learned that extra-mile people who transition positively through life’s toughest moments practice at least one of these seven regrouping strategies.

1. They don’t quit on life. “Tragedy might have happened, huge mistakes might have been made, but the world continues. People who have walked successfully over life’s hot-coal moments always keep going. They never quit living,” Anderson shares.

2. They live day-by-day. “It’s easy to get overwhelmed by the ‘What am I going to do now?’ feeling, but extra-mile people focus on the now. They don’t let thoughts of how they’re going to deal with tomorrow defeat them,” Anderson says.

3. They find support. “By forging relationships with positive, move-forward type people, survivors trigger positive energy to flow back into their lives,” Anderson points out.

4. They get involved again. “Extra-mile people transcend life’s tragedies by not choosing isolation when life knocks them down,” Anderson shares. “It’s easy to want to hide in a cave after something bad happens, but the longer we stay in the cave, the more challenging it is to ever leave it.”

5. They remain optimistic. “Extra-mile people support themselves with their own words and actions. They don’t let negative self-talk rule their brains, and they make sure not to surrender to negative, self-defeating emotions,” Anderson says.

6. They trust their faith and look for a higher purpose in their loss. “Extra-mile people believe that there is a stronger power at work in the world. Faith in a higher power…and yourself…works miracles in overcoming bad events,” Anderson quotes.

7. They seek to add value to the world. “People who have weathered a life storm recognize the opportunity to re-evaluate their own contribution to the world. They use their event not as a forever defeat, but rather as an igniting spark to do something meaningful,” Anderson says.

The author of six motivational books, including A Better Life: An Inspiring Story About Starting Over and Extra Mile America: Stories of Inspiration, Possibility and Purpose, Anderson is not only committed to support others in overcoming life’s toughest moments, he is also a leading voice on “going the extra mile” in order to maximize potential and contribution. Last year, his Extra Mile America organization led 444 cities to declare 11/1/13 as “Extra Mile Day”… a day recognizing the capacity we each have to create positive change in ourselves, families, organizations and communities when we “go the extra mile.”

“When something bad happens, we have the choice to either throw our hands in the air and give up or ‘go the extra mile’ and keep giving life our best effort. When we achieve that extra-mile distinction, we change our destiny.”

CREDIT:
Shawn Anderson is a six-time author, keynote speaker and motivational success coach. His “go the extra mile” philosophy and ability to produce results have been praised by political leaders, world record holders and media outlets across the world. His book titles include A Better Life: An Inspiring Story About Starting Over and Extra Mile America: Stories of Inspiration, Possibility and Purpose. For more information, visit www.ShawnAnderson.com.

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So many of us take life way too seriously. Life needs to be embraced, lived to the fullest, celebrated, and honored. Therefore, it is important to just let go, act silly, show and give love, do the things that you loved as a child such as building a sand castle, coloring, doing a cartwheel. I give you permission to embrace your inner child. Who made the rules that we have to be so proper, stuffy and serious? I guarantee you the ones who are jumping up and down at that concert, wearing a bit of purple in their hair, laughing hysterically with their friends, and going to the fun events are the happiest. They are the ones who others want to be with, learn from and hug.

Take this advice and use it in your work outs. Hula hoop in the grass, run through the sprinklers, and go dance at the exciting event you were invited to. You will not only get fit and burn calories, but will ease tension and stress too.

Make sure to spend that quality time with your parents, best friends or new connections. Go to that fun filled evening you were invited to. Take the time a few hours per week to volunteer at the local animal rescue. Speak up for what you feel is right. Love others without worrying what they think. Act silly, even if you get that feeling others think you are a dork. WHO CARES? You want to reallllllllllly LIVE! Embrace, hug and kiss life! Appreciate you! See the beauty, the good and the unique all around you.  

Kim Somers Egelsee; #1 best selling author of “Getting your life to a ten +”,multi award winning inspirational speaker, life coach and TV host. www.kimlifecoach.com

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By Kim Somers Egelsee

Feedback is something that can magnify your life and increase your success, actions and attitude. It is a way for you to see yourself from other’s perspectives. People often become confused as to what they truly want to do in their life, what their purpose may be, or if they should really follow their passions and heart’s desire. Asking for feedback can give you so many answers.  Start today. Choose 8 people that you know. It can be a combination of those you work with, friends, people on social media and family. Email them that you are doing a project from an article that you read, and you would love for them to answer three questions.

1. How do you see me? Describe in several words.

2. What are my talents and gifts?

3. What are some constructive criticisms you can give me?

When you receive the results, you will most likely be happily surprised and have a major confidence boost. (Just the bravery of doing this exercise boosts your confidence).  You will now discover some talents that you didn’t realize that you had, traits that you can bring out even more now that you know people see you that way, a few things that you can improve, and some new career or project ideas. Now, life is different, your confidence is building, and you know how people see you.

Finally, take this information and create a plan. Brainstorm new passions, decide which traits you will emphasize and use, and watch your self esteem boost to higher plains. to think that we know how others see us, can be delusional. It also can cause uncertainty and unease if we are constantly wondering what others think of us, which can show in our demeanor and in our energy. It is extremely powerful to dare and ask other how they see you, what constructive criticisms they can give you, what talents do they think you have? Enjoy this process and see your confidence, self esteem and life soar!

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2014 is upon us and you have vowed to become a better mom, wife, or daughter… It’s an honorable resolution and one that many us of make for New Years and often throughout the year. We all wish for the perfect relationship with our loved ones but we often feel as if we have failed due to stress, fatigue, and emotions.  The people we love and care about the most are often the ones who see us at our worst. Our relationships suffer when we continuallyput others first and forget to take care of ourselves.

That’s not to say we forget the idea of working on our relationships, but maybe we focus on a better relationship with ourselves. That’s right, let’s talk about taking care you. When you take care of your own needs, you will have more energy to deal with many tasks and issues that pop up in your life and your relationships will benefit from doing so.  

Many people believe that to be healthy you need to have good nutrition and exercise, but it is more than that, it  is taking care of yourself emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  Medical practitioners are beginning to realize health is more than your physical body and turning to the  idea of caring for the whole person. Researchers are finding that positive lifestyle changes such as exercising, stress relief, and good nutrition have a direct impact on good health. According to the Bravewell Collaborative “Innovative research by Dean Ornish, MD, and his colleagues found that a program integrating mind-body techniques such as yoga, meditation, stress management, and group support with diet and exercise reversed coronary artery disease” (2012).

Take the time to do one thing from each of these areas every day. You do not have to spend a lot of time, it can be something very simple. For example, do something for yourself that benefits you emotionally. This could be taking 5 minutes to  call a friend before picking up the kids at daycare or taking a few moments in your room by yourself before tackling the evening list of to-dos. We often rush into the next task and end up frustrated. Taking a few minutes for yourself, calms you and enables you to put things in perspective.

Even though researchers are finding that emotional and spiritual health are important, don’t forget about your physical self. The Mayo clinic reports that exercise boosts confidence and improves your mood (2011). The most difficult parts of exercising are finding  time and sticking with it.  Take walks at lunch with co-workers or work in short bouts of exercise a few times a day, such as doing crunches during commercials while watching your favorite show. Wake up 20 to 30 minutes early and exercise before your day begins. This can be difficult, but ensures that you won’t skip out on your commitment later in the day. Make sure you find an activity that you enjoy so that you will be more likely to continue your routine.

Spirituality plays an important role in your well-being. It helps connect us to others, gives our lives purpose, decreases stress, and helps create better relationships (Mayo Clinic Staff, 2013).  Spirituality is different for every person, but it should be something that is meaningful to you. This can be meditating for 5 minutes after you wake up in the morning, reading a morning devotion while you have your coffee or attending a religious service.

Taking care of yourself does not have to be an expensive spa day. Your family will thank the new you and your New Year’s resolution will be a success. Who knows, your family may even say thank you by giving you the day off…. at the spa perhaps (wink).

Works Cited

Mayo Clinic Staff. (2013, 07 23). Spirituality and stress relief: Make the connection. Retrieved 01 0, 2013, from Mayo Clinic: http://www.mayoclinic.org/stress-relief/art-20044464

Mayo Clinic Staff. (2011, 07 23). Exercise: 7 benefits of regular physical activity. Retrieved 01 08, 2014, from Mayo Clinic: http://www.mayoclinic.org/exercise/art-20048389

The Bravewell Collaborative. (2012). The Mind-Body Connection. Retrieved from The Bravewell Collaborative: http://www.bravewell.org/integrative_medicine/philosophical_foundation/mind_and_body_connection/

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Take a break for a few minutes from whatever you were doing before reading this article. Clear your mind of errands to run, projects to complete, racing thoughts of all kinds. And think for a moment about your life and these two words:

1. Certainty
2. Uncertainty

 These two premises, one being an outcome that is without doubt, the other a circumstance that nobody can predict or guarantee, are capable of explaining your whole life! And why it’s not exactly how you wish it were right now.

When we have great “certainty” there is an urge for most of us to seek “uncertainty.” For instance, some people when surrounded by great certainty — such as while in a steady, secure job or in a committed long- term relationship — say they are bored or are not feeling alive. They feel they’re not using their talents to the maximum, not feeling that excitement in their marriage, not feeling like they’re living the life they always imagined.

Yet, when we have great uncertainty in our lives, as many now do during these financial times, we seek greater certainty. Suddenly a steady marriage feels supportive and necessary, a secure job a blessing.

Likewise, when we have great certainty we’re willing to take greater risks in order to achieve a certain level of uncertainty, but if we are living with great uncertainty suddenly even the smallest of risks seems like too much.

Whichever side you are on right now, certainty or uncertainty, really isn’t important, however. What is important is that you realize you are likely always seeking out that which you do not have.

It’s a classic case of “the grass is always greener on the other side.” Usually that’s the case because it’s fertilized with BS! The solution? Embrace the present moment, whatever it may be. Change is good, as long as you’re living in the present.

Always seeking what you do not have keeps you in a constant state of unrest. You are continually wishing your life were different in some way, and in this way can never truly feel content, fulfilled or even happy.

But this is not to say you should never strive for change. Rather, you should embrace what you have right now, and then take the steps to go after your dreams. It takes effort on your part to do this — to accept and embrace the here and now while opening yourself to whatever the future will bring.

Again, this is not about wishing for the future to the extent that you miss out on today. Always at the forefront of your mind should be living in the moment.

This deceptively simple premise is very difficult for many people. A major part of the problem is that most people are living their lives to please other people, or they are living the life they think they should (rather than the life they really want). In so doing, they often want to ignore the present moment because it does not feel true nor right to their hearts.

Your first step, then, should be to identify what it is you want! Then start taking the following steps to get you there.

Are You Ready to Have the Life You Really Want? Then Follow These Steps

In the tips that follow you’ll learn ways to set realistic goals and achieve desired outcomes that you will achieve by being in the moment everyday with what you want to do, will do, and that you then do — to achieve exactly what you want to in your life journey starting now! Today!

1. Focus on living in the present, feeling neither regret for past events nor fear or calm down and stay present even in the plan can make all the difference to stay relaxed.

2.Choose to have a positive attitude. A positive attitude trumps just about everything when it comes to success and happiness, and this is a state of mind that you can choose. In other words, YOU control how you view a situation and whether you perceive it negatively or positively. So if negative thoughts enter your mind, do not give them any attention.

Instead, focus on the many good things in your life and be grateful for what you have, especially the things you may take for granted, like food, shelter, your health and people who love you, and whom you love in return.

3. Write down your goals. Writing about life goals is associated with enhanced well- being, according to the Positive Psychology Center. Remember to phrase your goals as though you have already achieved them, such as “I enjoy being at my ideal weight.”

4. Laugh and smile — doing so will help you to live in the moment and maintain a positive outlook (both of which will also help you stay open to new opportunities coming your way).

5. Use daily affirmations. Similar to a mantra, a positive affirmation repeated after you wake up, before bed or anytime during the day can help to displace negative thoughts with positive ones and reaffirm what is most valuable to you.

The goal of these steps is three-fold:

• Allow you to feel happy and at peace with your life how it is right now
• Help you achieve and maintain a positive mental attitude
• Remind you of the importance of living in the present

As you naturally begin to adopt these three premises, you’ll find you’re satisfied with your life rather than continually seeking something different. Yet, at the same time you’ll notice positive opportunities await you each and every day. They’re there now, and yours for the taking — as soon as you stop focusing on what you do not have and embrace all that you do.

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