It’s not always easy to look in the mirror and smile back at your reflection, especially when 10, 20 or even 30 pounds have (re)introduced themselves to your hips, thighs, breasts and butt. And thanks to celebrities and models on social media, television and fashion magazines, feeling inadequate can be a daily struggle for even the most in-shape women. Finding reasons to love your body is a real and constant struggle for millions of women worldwide, and it’s not always a topic that’s easy to talk about. Don’t let outward appearance rob you of all the good inside of you, ladies. There’s more to life than perky boobs, a round butt and flat stomach with a six-pack of abs.

Because we know what you’re going through, here’s a few helpful tips to keep your mind focused on the positives, regardless of what’s got you down in the dumps. Stay open-minded and open to change, and these are sure to help in your journey to emotional (and even physical) bliss.

1.  Life is Short – Don’t Waste Time Hating Your Body

“You only live once” (or YOLO, as the kids say these days) – it’s not a bad phrase to live by. Imagine all the time you’ve already wasted worrying about your physical appearance instead of going out and enjoying your life! Try not to let your current appearance dictate your happiness.

2.  Limit Your Social Media Presence

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat. Depending on who you follow, it’s like watching a highlights reel of other women’s lives, without all that drama (screaming kids, adult acne, unshaved legs, etc.) that “normal people” have to endure. Newsflash, ladies – it’s fake. No one’s life is perfect, and certainly not as glamorous as others make it out to be. Inundating your brain with images of women with unrealistic body types and lifestyles isn’t going to help you love yourself, so perhaps it’s time to walk away from all the social media apps for a while. You don’t need “friends” or “followers” that make you think less of yourself, right?

3.  Count Your Body’s Blessings, Not Blemishes

Your body is an amazing work of art, a precious vessel and a limitless instrument. Respect your body for what it is – imperfect, beautiful, unique and all your own. While it may never be what you want or expect it to be on the outside, remember to count your blessings for all the working parts on the inside. We’ve found that starting your day with a quick “thank you” to your body for all it does can help jumpstart a lasting positive attitude.

4.  Dress for Success

Squeezing into a size seven when you’re really a nine isn’t going to help you feel better about your current body size. This can only cause fat-shaming and self-punishment. Instead, dress for the body you have, wear clothes that are comfortable to you and your body, and ditch old clothes that no longer fit. Keeping those skeletons in the closet will only be a constant reminder of your “better self,” and that negativity isn’t going to help at all. Focus less on the size and more on the satisfaction you get from a form-fitting pair of jeans or bra.

5.  Step Off the Scale

Starting every morning by stepping on the scale can be an instant mood crusher. Don’t let the scale steal your happiness! Instead, find joy and gratitude in the sheer fact that another day has been given to you. Don’t squander it with self-loathing. This will give new meaning to the motto “rise and shine.” Allow every day to be a new beginning towards your physical and emotional goals.

6.  Take Time to Listen to Your Body

Your body is your friend. I repeat – your body is your friend. Don’t be the enemy in this situation. Take the time to listen to your body’s needs and provide it with everything it needs to be happy and healthy, both inside and out. When you find yourself standing in the mirror objectifying yourself, close your eyes, find your heartbeat and listen closely. “If people are able to stand inside their bodies and feel their body, they have a good sense of what’s happening inside themselves, and they’re less likely to objectify themselves,” says Vivien Ainley, a doctoral candidate in neuroscience at Royal Holloway, University of London. Ainley co-authored a study that found people who hear their hearts are less likely to view themselves as objects. It might sound simplistic, but sometimes it’s the simple things in life that make the most sense.

The post Learning How to Love Your Body appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

One of the hardest aspects of motherhood is the acceptance that life will never fully be the same. Some women survive the ordeal with their pre-baby body intact, while others end up feeling “ugly” from the drastic changes that come with birth and breastfeeding.

New Chapter

Life in parenthood is not the easiest, but it is surely the most rewarding. Sometimes this new, rewarding chapter comes with physical changes. There is no need to hate yourself for the changes that your body made in order to deliver and feed your child. Instead it is important to think of these changes as beautiful – after all, you are generally the same person. Many people have issues embracing change because it is different, difficult, or perhaps even frightening.

Strength in Change

Your body may have under grown dramatic changes, if only for an important reason. If you choose to breastfeed, you can relish in the beauty that is feeding your child with this new body. You may have a higher tolerance for pain, you may start dealing better with having little or no sleep at night, and you may even feel stronger, lighter, or bolder. The point is: these changes differ from woman to woman and the one similarity that they share: they are strong and positive changes.

Fall in Love Again

This new love is not simply about your romantic partnership, but how you will love yourself. You may feel as if you are an entirely different person, that it is terrible that you’ll never fit into a size 3 again. It is important to tell yourself that you grew and gave birth to the love (and loves) of your life, and that your body was the key component in this.

Most importantly, you have not become a different person. You have crossed into a new chapter of life, but you are still a writer, teacher, nurse, business woman, and whatever you were before your child was born. There is strength in change, and change sometimes means supplementation and not merely replacement.

The post Loving Your Postpartum Bod appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

A healthy self-esteem is the foundation to a lifetime of positive mental health and social happiness.  How you feel about yourself affects how you behave and how you treat others. Kids who understand their own strengths and weaknesses and feel good about themselves seem to have an easier time handling conflict and resisting negative pressures. It’s our job as parents to help build our children’s self-esteem and make them feel good about themselves. Here are a few tips I’ve used over the years with my 7 kids:

Words of praise go a long way in building a child’s self-esteem.  It is important to be honest in your praise as well as recognizing the effort the child made.  Reward effort and completion of a task regardless of the outcome.  State how proud you are for their willingness to try something new.  You could say something like, “Even though you didn’t make the team, I’m proud of you for practicing and trying out.”

Help kids overcome disappointment with humor.  Sometimes a skill level just isn’t there due to age or experience.  Help them discover things they are good at and help them understand we all have different gifts and talents.  We can still participate in activities that we’re not especially good at just because we enjoy them.  For example, you could share with them that you love to sing even though you can’t carry a tune.

Be a positive role model for your kids.  Nurture your own self-esteem in front of them by sharing positive self-talk for them to mimic.  Kids will pick up on your habits and attitudes so be careful to portray a realistic representation of your attitudes and abilities.

Identify any unhealthy or inaccurate self-perceptions your kids have about themselves and correct them.  Kids can put too much pressure on themselves to be perfect or to look a certain way.  Help them recognize that diversity is what makes them interesting and unique.  Focus on things they do well overall, but address something specific they could improve. For instance, you could say, you are an excellent student in school, but you could spend more time working on grammar.

Be generous with your love and affection.  Send notes in your kid’s lunch box that share something special like “I think you’re terrific!”  Tell them you’re proud of them when they try something new or they success at something they previously fail at.  Help them demonstrate kindness towards others.

Be honest in your praise and help your kids be humble.  An over inflated sense of self can cause kids to think they are better than others, or put others down to feel better about themselves.  Point all we all have strengths and weaknesses and we all do things better than others and we all do things less well than others.  We all have a role to play on a team and each member of the team is equally important.

Acknowledge kids’ feelings and validate how they feel.  When they are young, help them identify words to express how they feel so their frustrations can be addressed and worked through.  Empower them with choices on how to fix the problem so it doesn’t persist.

Create a safe home environment free of yelling and abuse.  Kids who grow up in abusive environments are more likely to have low self-esteem.  Kids who witness their parents fighting may feel like they can’t control their environment and may succumb to depression or feel helpless and afraid.

Allow your kids to participate on teams where cooperation rather than completion is the goal.  For example, having an older child mentor a younger child in reading or math.  Volunteering as a family in your local community is also beneficial for helping kids learn to contribute and make a positive impact in their world.

Help kids take pride in what they are doing not matter how big or how small.  Teach them that a job done well is important whether it’s making their bed or doing math homework.  Teach them their effort is an extension of their character and being known for doing a good job is important.

Good Luck!

Sincerely,

DaddyNickell

Parenting Expert and father of 7, Robert Nickell (aka Daddy Nickell) offers his “5 cents” worth of advice to expectant and new parents.  Daddy Nickell is the founder of Daddy & Co., delivery room duds and daddy gifts and apparel for every stage of fatherhood, and the Daily Daddy Blog.  He is also the creator and producer of “My Life as a Dad,” the groundbreaking new web series that showcases celebrity fathers offering their personal experiences and parenting tips.

The post Tips to Build Self-Esteem in Kids appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

Many moms think that once they have had a child that their goddess power, sex appeal and beauty go out the door. They feel that their husband or other men don’t want to check them out. At times they feel frumpy. Well, moms can be fabulous, not frumpy. Instead, it is important to know and embrace your radiance from the power of giving birth, caring for a child and being a powerful positive parent. We can take this energy and inner beauty and power and turn it into sex appeal when needed. Take that flush in your cheeks from running around and realize that it looks like a healthy glow. Those curves from having been pregnant look very glamorous with the right clothing. The multitasking you need to do as a mother is also helpful in your career, making you look efficient and empowered. It helps if you plan dates on your calendar where you will dress up, put on make up, do your hair and let out that inner beauty and sex appeal. You will be a happier mom, and feel great about you.

Here are a few tips to help bring out your “sexy”.

1. Have an enthusiasm and excitement toward life that is contagious.

2. Love yourself and love people. Have the belief that you are worth knowing.

3. Accept your body, your life and you. Embrace your gifts. You can always improve, but love yourself now.

4. Keep a positive attitude.

5. Remember that laughter is so attractive.

6. Practice being and feeling sexy. Watch others and then see what works for you.

7. NOW; get to work!

The post YES, YOU CAN STILL BE SEXY AND A MOM appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.