For moms of young children, taking your kids to the doctor can be one of the most frustrating experiences. Many children become upset at the doctor’s office, refusing to go in the exam room at all costs or making a scene by crying and screaming uncontrollably. Next thing you know what was supposed to be a routine visit turned into a dress rehearsal for the Apocalypse!

To adults, a child’s distress about doctor visits might seem irrational. No matter how young or old your kids are, though, they will likely have some fears and other negative feelings about going to the doctor. They might be afraid of the doctor himself, that the exam will cause pain, or of being separated from you. There might also be some beliefs that going to the doctor is a form of punishment or anxiety that something is bad is happening to them.

As parents, we know that having medical checkups for our children is crucial for their health and wellbeing. The problem is that kids often are not aware of this and need your help in order to know to expect when going to the doctor. Here are suggestions for preparing your children for visits:

Be Honest About the Reason for the Visit

It is always a good idea to sit down with your children and explain the reason they need to go to the doctor, whether because it is just for a checkup or because of a specific problem. Use language they can understand and keep a positive tone. Try to do this in advance so the doctor’s visit is not a total surprise.

Go Over What to Expect

You can also talk to your children about what to expect during the exam itself. Explain what kinds of things the doctor might do during a routine exam like taking their temperature, looking into their eyes and ears, and feeling their tummies. Many parents find it helpful to role play what the doctor might do by using their child’s favorite stuffed animal or doll. You can also introduce children to the instruments a doctor will use with a children’s book or toy doctor’s kit.

Address Your Children’s Feelings

When you talk to your children about the doctor, address any specific negative feelings they have in a supportive way. Reassure them that you will be with them the whole time. Explain that going to the doctor is not punishment for something they did. Remember that your child may or may not display signs of having negative feelings about seeing the doctor, so he or she might need your encouragement to express these feelings.

Help Your Child Cope

During the exam itself, you child may experience unpleasant medical procedures like getting a shot. Help your child deal with these by learning age-appropriate distraction and coping techniques like positive self-talk, deep breathing, singing, and rocking or patting.

With these tips, your child’s next visit to the doctor can be a success instead of an all-out-war that only leaves you frustrated and exhausted.

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