By Samantha McConnell

When my first child was born I was adamant on cleanliness. I don’t mean bath every day and making sure I wiped every crevice each diaper change clean, I mean baby wipe attached to my hand shooting out like Spiderman constantly wiping away every single speck of dirt kind of clean.

I created a monster. A squeaky clean wipe obsessed monster; one who ironically hates baths… but that is another story entirely.

The second time around, I find myself with a baby boy who, although he hates baths more than his big brother, doesn’t object to a little filth. I have even caught him eating dirt on more than one occasion. He doesn’t like that either, but he keeps going back to it. And if there is a bug in it? Game over, he is happy as can be. Don’t worry though; I stop him from eating the bugs.

As my boys are growing older I have noticed several differences between the two. Of course they aren’t going to be carbon copies of each other or of myself and husband, but I can’t help but think that perhaps my obsessive cleanliness in one against the other and their differences in personality are a direct result of my actions. They are silly, imaginative and energetic, but the oldest is more structured; Borderline obsessively structured. The youngest is much more carefree and extremely welcoming to danger (He even has the scars to prove it).  In addition to their differences in personality, the youngest has been consistently healthier in his life (knock on wood) with only having to go to the doctor for physical injuries opposed to the health issues of his brother.

It appears there may even be some science behind my thinking that the over-cleaning of my oldest and lax approach with youngest could have lead to their differences; their health differences at least.

It has been said that allowing children (and adults if you are feeling dangerous) to play in dirt, eat it and resist succumbing to the growing trend of constant hand-sanitizing can aid in building stronger immune systems, amongst other things. Could it be that turning my head to the little bit of dirt on the cheek of my youngest aided in his nonexistent health issues? Could I have aided in preventing the four day stay in the PICU of my oldest if I hadn’t stopped him from eating that fruit loop off the ground? Maybe, maybe not.

What I do know for sure, is life is much simpler without fretting over keeping my boys spotless every second of every day. They are messy (or at least as messy as they will allow), they are happy, and they are healthy as they can be. So go ahead, let the kids make a mud pie. In fact, join them! Maybe a little mud bath will allow you to use more sick days for impromptu trips to the beach instead of at the doctor’s office.

Check out: http://www.thelimitedlivewell.com/2012/10/04/dirt-germs-and-other-friendly-filth/

The post Healthy, Happy, FILTHY appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

Face it, sometimes we have a child that’s a neat freak and sometimes we have the absolute opposite.  As a parent, it’s our job to figure out how it will flow so that everyone involved is happy (that means you and your children). If your kids share a room, you need to find a way for them to cohabitate peacefully.  Here are a few ideas on making this happen in your family.

1.  Try to give each child their own space. The messy child shouldn’t have to live in a tidy environment just because we all think it is a better way to live. One’s bedroom is considered their sanctuary. It may be that the clutter makes them feel comfortable or safe. What is messy to one child might not be to another. So, if possible, give the kids separate living spaces or divide their shared room with a curtain that runs down the center.

2.  Define what is neat and messy. I might think things are clean if they are piled nicely, while my wife doesn’t think it is clean until the clutter is gone and the countertop has been disinfected. Figure out what “organized” or “clean” means to each child and then try to find a happy meeting place.

3.  Work out a compromise. You should not expect one child to change for the other.  It is not fair to assume the “neat” child is living the right or better way. Figure out what is absolutely necessary for each child to live a stress free life and meet in the middle. These are great lessons to learn at an early age as life is often about compromise.

4.  Respect each other’s ways. This comes down to hard, honest conversations. It is not fair for either child to pick on the other for what brings them comfort and safe feelings. The messy child can’t be allowed to be a total wreck, but the neat child will have to loosen his ideas of what “clean” means.  Again a great way to learn how to function in life where we all have to compromise.

5.  Do not side with either child. This will be difficult as every parent has their idea of neat as well, but siding with one child will make the other feel badly about themselves and give the one extra power. This may also result in your messier child going extreme the other direction.

6.  Set a “cleaning” time. Whether it is a short stint every night before bed or a longer more intense clean up on weekends, a set cleaning time will set expectations as to when cleaning will occur. This should help lesson or eliminate fights in between. Find ways to make it fun. Turn on music, play a game or give out awards such as “winner chooses dinner!”

7. Find out each child’s cleaning strengths. You might find that your messy child hates to organize, but loves to vacuum. Or that your clean child loves to make beds but can’t stand hanging up clothes. Once you’ve figured out if there are preferences, divide and conquer the cleaning chores. Teach your kids at the same time proper ways of cleaning so they do it “Mom’s way” rather than the sibling way. They will be much more inclined to please you than they are each other.

8.  Make it so even the messy one thinks cleaning is easy. This may take a little investment, but under the bed bins or closet boxes that stuff can simply be thrown into and pushed out of sight is simple cleaning for the messy person. It may not be your idea of clean or put away, but it will get stuff off the floor and make the room less cluttered.

Sincerely,

Daddy Nickell

Robert Nickell, aka Daddy Nickell, father of 7, offers his “5 cents” worth of advice to expectant and new parents.  Daddy Nickell is the founder of Daddyscrubs.com, delivery room duds and daddy gifts and apparel for dads, and the Daddyscrubs.com blog where he covers topics about parenting and the latest baby and kids gear, all from a Dad’s perspective.

The post Ways to Live Happily With Your Neat & Not-So-Neat Kids appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.