As babies grow into toddlerhood they pass through many developmental milestones.  Learning to share is one of them.  Sharing, just like everything else up to this point, is a practiced skill.  Kids aren’t intentionally being selfish when they don’t want to share, they are simply acting their age developmentally.  So, don’t be embarrassed when your two year old grabs a toy and shouts “MINE”, simply turn it into a teachable moment. 

Try these simple tips to help teach your toddler how to share and have a good attitude:

1.  Create sharing opportunities – Sharing is not a natural response for a toddler, the concept must be taught. Be patient, don’t rush the process – and they will catch on. Don’t force your child to share. Instead, create opportunities for him to include others and share his belongings. Coach him through the event prior to guests arriving.  Host a playgroup in your home to create a safe practice space. He may be unwilling at first, but with practice he will see that he has other toys available to play with.  Redirect his attention and eventually he will be okay with other children playing with his toys too. To make it easier for him, remove his favorite toy from the whole equation and don’t allow any child to play with it during play time.

2.  Set time limits – Set the expectation by saying, “You can play with it for 10 minutes, and then it is Sally’s turn.” Toddlers have a hard time playing together as it is so setting limits will encourage sharing. Setting a timer works great, when the bell chimes it is time to change toys. Your child may be reluctant to pass the toy on so don’t be surprised if you have to intervene.

3.  Reward good behavior –  If sharing goes well, praise him on a job well done in front of the group.  Say things like, “You’re such a big boy for sharing your toys with Tommy,” or “Doesn’t it feel good to play nice with your friends?”  Kids love stickers.  Give a sticker for good behavior or a special snack at lunch.  Make the reward immediate as toddlers have a short attention span.  At dinner time, have him tell Daddy what a good boy he was by sharing his toys at playtime. Continual positive reinforcement goes a long way with kids because they have an innate desire to please you.

4.  Model your behavior – Kids will imitate what they see.  Offer opportunities for to share with them by sharing a bite of your food.  Talk them through the process, “This is a yummy sandwich, I would sure like to share it with you,” then offer them a bite.  End the conversation with “Thanks for sharing with me. It makes me feel good to share things with you.”  Make sharing a positive experience with them so they will associate that feeling when sharing their toys with friends.

5.  Teach delayed gratification – Kids want everything right now.  Offer them choices like, “If you let Susie take a turn playing with your doll now, we can go to the park tomorrow and play on the slide.”  Make the reward for sharing bigger than just playing with the toy in that moment.  Giving them control over the process also makes them feel grown up. 

Start teaching the concept of sharing early.  Talk out loud when you are sharing with them to familiarize them with the process of sharing.  When introducing the idea of sharing to a group of kids, set rules so everyone knows they are expected to share.  Model offering toys for friends to play with in front of your child so they can model your behavior; i.e. “Sam, would you like to play with Ethan’s truck today?” Then motion to Ethan to pass the truck to Sam.  Don’t punish them when they don’t quite get it, express your disappointment and encourage them to do better next time.  Intervene when you must to keep the peace, but with consistent reinforcement sharing will become a natural response as the child grows older.

About Jennifer Chung

Jennifer Chung is a parenting expert and co-founder of Kinsights: part parenting community, part online health record. Kinsights provides parents with a safe place to seek answers to their questions while also helping them track their child’s health information. Organize your child’s growth and developmental milestones, immunizations, medications, allergies, and more.  Connect with Kinsights at https://kinsights.com to learn more and sign-up! You can also follow them on Facebook and Twitter (@kinsights).

The post 5 Tips to Teach Toddlers to Share appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

“It’s inevitable that at one time or another life will punch us hard in the gut; no one is immune to experiencing tragedy or failure,” Anderson says. “But when it’s our turn to feel life’s stomach blow, how will we handle it? Will we ‘go the extra mile’ and passionately keep on living, or will we just give up and go through the motions?”

In his interviews, Anderson learned that extra-mile people who transition positively through life’s toughest moments practice at least one of these seven regrouping strategies.

1. They don’t quit on life. “Tragedy might have happened, huge mistakes might have been made, but the world continues. People who have walked successfully over life’s hot-coal moments always keep going. They never quit living,” Anderson shares.

2. They live day-by-day. “It’s easy to get overwhelmed by the ‘What am I going to do now?’ feeling, but extra-mile people focus on the now. They don’t let thoughts of how they’re going to deal with tomorrow defeat them,” Anderson says.

3. They find support. “By forging relationships with positive, move-forward type people, survivors trigger positive energy to flow back into their lives,” Anderson points out.

4. They get involved again. “Extra-mile people transcend life’s tragedies by not choosing isolation when life knocks them down,” Anderson shares. “It’s easy to want to hide in a cave after something bad happens, but the longer we stay in the cave, the more challenging it is to ever leave it.”

5. They remain optimistic. “Extra-mile people support themselves with their own words and actions. They don’t let negative self-talk rule their brains, and they make sure not to surrender to negative, self-defeating emotions,” Anderson says.

6. They trust their faith and look for a higher purpose in their loss. “Extra-mile people believe that there is a stronger power at work in the world. Faith in a higher power…and yourself…works miracles in overcoming bad events,” Anderson quotes.

7. They seek to add value to the world. “People who have weathered a life storm recognize the opportunity to re-evaluate their own contribution to the world. They use their event not as a forever defeat, but rather as an igniting spark to do something meaningful,” Anderson says.

The author of six motivational books, including A Better Life: An Inspiring Story About Starting Over and Extra Mile America: Stories of Inspiration, Possibility and Purpose, Anderson is not only committed to support others in overcoming life’s toughest moments, he is also a leading voice on “going the extra mile” in order to maximize potential and contribution. Last year, his Extra Mile America organization led 444 cities to declare 11/1/13 as “Extra Mile Day”… a day recognizing the capacity we each have to create positive change in ourselves, families, organizations and communities when we “go the extra mile.”

“When something bad happens, we have the choice to either throw our hands in the air and give up or ‘go the extra mile’ and keep giving life our best effort. When we achieve that extra-mile distinction, we change our destiny.”

CREDIT:
Shawn Anderson is a six-time author, keynote speaker and motivational success coach. His “go the extra mile” philosophy and ability to produce results have been praised by political leaders, world record holders and media outlets across the world. His book titles include A Better Life: An Inspiring Story About Starting Over and Extra Mile America: Stories of Inspiration, Possibility and Purpose. For more information, visit www.ShawnAnderson.com.

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So many of us take life way too seriously. Life needs to be embraced, lived to the fullest, celebrated, and honored. Therefore, it is important to just let go, act silly, show and give love, do the things that you loved as a child such as building a sand castle, coloring, doing a cartwheel. I give you permission to embrace your inner child. Who made the rules that we have to be so proper, stuffy and serious? I guarantee you the ones who are jumping up and down at that concert, wearing a bit of purple in their hair, laughing hysterically with their friends, and going to the fun events are the happiest. They are the ones who others want to be with, learn from and hug.

Take this advice and use it in your work outs. Hula hoop in the grass, run through the sprinklers, and go dance at the exciting event you were invited to. You will not only get fit and burn calories, but will ease tension and stress too.

Make sure to spend that quality time with your parents, best friends or new connections. Go to that fun filled evening you were invited to. Take the time a few hours per week to volunteer at the local animal rescue. Speak up for what you feel is right. Love others without worrying what they think. Act silly, even if you get that feeling others think you are a dork. WHO CARES? You want to reallllllllllly LIVE! Embrace, hug and kiss life! Appreciate you! See the beauty, the good and the unique all around you.  

Kim Somers Egelsee; #1 best selling author of “Getting your life to a ten +”,multi award winning inspirational speaker, life coach and TV host. www.kimlifecoach.com

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Every child has to learn how to be a good sport, and in turn, a good loser. Whether your child is playing a team sport like soccer or a board game at home there will come a time when they don’t win. And how they handle that loss will be extremely important. With seven children of my own ranging in age from 1 year to 27 years old, I’ve learned my fair share about sportsmanship over the years.

Here are my tips for raising a child who is a team player and a good sport when faced with a loss.

Do Your Best: Teach your child that his best is plenty good enough, and that instead of trying to always win, he should instead focus on trying to do his best and trying to improve each and every time he plays a game. Often too much emphasis is put on the win, when it should be spread out. We need more emphasis on: building each other up, being patient, playing as a team, working hard, being supportive, improving, etc. As parents we can work to switch the emphasis from “the win” to all of the other wonderful things that are learned through games and sports. 

Discussing the Loss: When your child loses a game, discuss it with them and let them know it’s okay to lose some; nobody wins every game they play. Share stories of your own losses and how you handled those difficulties in your life. Discuss ways in which you learned to be a good sport. Encourage your child to talk about their own goals, how they’ve improved over time, what they did well in any certain game and more. I believe in an open line of communication between parents and children; you’ll be able to share your own wisdom, and you’ll likely be surprised by what your children tell you, too.

Rewarding a Positive Attitude: As your child learns to be a good sport it’ll be important to reward their positive attitude – when they have one. Don’t let an opportunity go by for you to genuinely let your child know you’re proud of them. And when your child gracefully loses a game while being kind and supportive to their teammates, that would likely be one of those times. Tell your child you’re proud and let them know exactly why; then reward them by letting them choose dessert or pick a weekend activity for the family.

Consequences for Unsportsmanlike Conduct: On the other hand, there will probably be times when your child loses a game and behaves in an unsportsmanlike manner. Or there might be a time when your child is rude to a teammate or to another team. This behavior might merit a consequence. After the consequence is delivered and your child cools off, I recommend talking to the child about their behavior in detail. Ask them to come up with alternative methods for handling such a situation in the future.

Games and sports teach us a lot about life, and therefore teaching children to be good sports is invaluable but also difficult. I hope these tips will help your family as they’ve helped mine in the past. 

Happy parenting!

Sincerely,

Daddy

Robert Nickell, aka Daddy Nickell, father of 7, offers his “5 cents” worth of advice to expectant and new parents.  Daddy Nickell is the founder of Daddyscrubs.com, delivery room duds and daddy gifts and apparel, and the DaddyScrubs blog where he covers topics about parenting all from a Dad’s perspective.

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An important lesson every child learns one way or another throughout his life is how to share with others. With seven kids of my own, I’ve learned many tips that have helped me teach my children to share.

Lead by Example: When teaching your child to share it’s important to lead by example and do your part by sharing your things with those around you. Share whenever possible and make a point to discuss the importance of sharing with your child.  There are lots of things to can share with your family everyday, and when you do so, make a point to highlight the act of sharing.

Positive Reinforcement: It’s all about the positive reinforcement and encouragement. You have to make your child want to share. One way to inspire this behavior is with rewards. Allow your child to earn points/stickers/rewards every time they share, and after a certain amount of time they can work up to a greater reward such as a special activity of their choosing. Decide upon a reward system that works for your family and be consistent.

Communicate: If your child is having a hard time sharing talk with them and try to figure out what’s going on. Discuss why sharing is important and is a nice thing to do. Give your child the opportunity to genuinely and openly explain why they don’t want to share their belongings, and go from there. You might just be surprised at what you learn and uncover.

Be Patient: Learning to share doesn’t happen overnight, and often times being overly possessive can be a phase your toddler will grow out of. In times of doubt, just be patient and positive and continue working toward the ultimate goal of sharing. 

These tips have been helpful for me in the past, and I hope they’ll work for you too.

Happy parenting! 

Sincerely,

Daddy Nickell

Robert Nickell, aka Daddy Nickell, father of 7, offers his “5 cents” worth of advice to expectant and new parents.  Daddy Nickell is the founder of Daddyscrubs.com, delivery room duds and daddy gifts and apparel, and the DaddyScrubs blog where he covers topics about parenting all from a Dad’s perspective.

The post Teaching Toddlers How to Share appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

Take a break for a few minutes from whatever you were doing before reading this article. Clear your mind of errands to run, projects to complete, racing thoughts of all kinds. And think for a moment about your life and these two words:

1. Certainty
2. Uncertainty

 These two premises, one being an outcome that is without doubt, the other a circumstance that nobody can predict or guarantee, are capable of explaining your whole life! And why it’s not exactly how you wish it were right now.

When we have great “certainty” there is an urge for most of us to seek “uncertainty.” For instance, some people when surrounded by great certainty — such as while in a steady, secure job or in a committed long- term relationship — say they are bored or are not feeling alive. They feel they’re not using their talents to the maximum, not feeling that excitement in their marriage, not feeling like they’re living the life they always imagined.

Yet, when we have great uncertainty in our lives, as many now do during these financial times, we seek greater certainty. Suddenly a steady marriage feels supportive and necessary, a secure job a blessing.

Likewise, when we have great certainty we’re willing to take greater risks in order to achieve a certain level of uncertainty, but if we are living with great uncertainty suddenly even the smallest of risks seems like too much.

Whichever side you are on right now, certainty or uncertainty, really isn’t important, however. What is important is that you realize you are likely always seeking out that which you do not have.

It’s a classic case of “the grass is always greener on the other side.” Usually that’s the case because it’s fertilized with BS! The solution? Embrace the present moment, whatever it may be. Change is good, as long as you’re living in the present.

Always seeking what you do not have keeps you in a constant state of unrest. You are continually wishing your life were different in some way, and in this way can never truly feel content, fulfilled or even happy.

But this is not to say you should never strive for change. Rather, you should embrace what you have right now, and then take the steps to go after your dreams. It takes effort on your part to do this — to accept and embrace the here and now while opening yourself to whatever the future will bring.

Again, this is not about wishing for the future to the extent that you miss out on today. Always at the forefront of your mind should be living in the moment.

This deceptively simple premise is very difficult for many people. A major part of the problem is that most people are living their lives to please other people, or they are living the life they think they should (rather than the life they really want). In so doing, they often want to ignore the present moment because it does not feel true nor right to their hearts.

Your first step, then, should be to identify what it is you want! Then start taking the following steps to get you there.

Are You Ready to Have the Life You Really Want? Then Follow These Steps

In the tips that follow you’ll learn ways to set realistic goals and achieve desired outcomes that you will achieve by being in the moment everyday with what you want to do, will do, and that you then do — to achieve exactly what you want to in your life journey starting now! Today!

1. Focus on living in the present, feeling neither regret for past events nor fear or calm down and stay present even in the plan can make all the difference to stay relaxed.

2.Choose to have a positive attitude. A positive attitude trumps just about everything when it comes to success and happiness, and this is a state of mind that you can choose. In other words, YOU control how you view a situation and whether you perceive it negatively or positively. So if negative thoughts enter your mind, do not give them any attention.

Instead, focus on the many good things in your life and be grateful for what you have, especially the things you may take for granted, like food, shelter, your health and people who love you, and whom you love in return.

3. Write down your goals. Writing about life goals is associated with enhanced well- being, according to the Positive Psychology Center. Remember to phrase your goals as though you have already achieved them, such as “I enjoy being at my ideal weight.”

4. Laugh and smile — doing so will help you to live in the moment and maintain a positive outlook (both of which will also help you stay open to new opportunities coming your way).

5. Use daily affirmations. Similar to a mantra, a positive affirmation repeated after you wake up, before bed or anytime during the day can help to displace negative thoughts with positive ones and reaffirm what is most valuable to you.

The goal of these steps is three-fold:

• Allow you to feel happy and at peace with your life how it is right now
• Help you achieve and maintain a positive mental attitude
• Remind you of the importance of living in the present

As you naturally begin to adopt these three premises, you’ll find you’re satisfied with your life rather than continually seeking something different. Yet, at the same time you’ll notice positive opportunities await you each and every day. They’re there now, and yours for the taking — as soon as you stop focusing on what you do not have and embrace all that you do.

The post The Life You Live vs. the Life You Want to Live appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.