Have midnight walks to the kitchen become treacherous journeys complete with landmines and hidden traps ? Are you sick of battling your children in hopes they will happily do their chores while beds remain unmade and toys or clothes seem to rule your living room floor?  If so, Daddy Nickell’s here to help!

I have created, with time and experience (plus a few headaches), a foolproof method for making chore time enjoyable for both the kids and for me!  And you can too!  With a little time and persistence, you’ll have your kids whistling while they work.

Make it a Game: Figuring out creative ways to turn chore time into game time works wonders. Kids enjoy games, puzzles and creative thinking; if they view chores as a “get to” rather than a “have to” they will engage more willingly and cheerfully. Kids also love a good challenge. Here are a few ideas to make chore time a bit more interesting – you’re going to have to get creative.

• Give your kids a time limit that makes them work quickly trying hard to finish everything before the buzzer rings.
• Have your children compete by seeing who can pick up the most toys or sort their laundry the fastest.
• The dishwasher could be a brilliant game of Tetris in which your children try to fit every dirty dish into the washer just right.

 Don’t Play Dumb: If gaming does not work, and if your child is just refusing to do their chores or fighting you on the subject, sit them down and use a little reasoning. Ask them why they don’t want to contribute. Ask them who they think will do the chores if they don’t help? Be inquisitive. Figure out what’s in the way and ask them for suggestions for moving forward. Kids are more likely to help when they feel like helping was their idea. Allowing them to give some input might encourage a compromise leading to positive behavior and ultimately, help with household duties. It might take a little coaxing, but they’ll tell you what’s going on, how they feel and why they are being so negative if you give them a chance.  Once they are ready to start, offer a smile, some extra encouragement and a bit of silly cheer-leading; once they are smiling, you’ll see the fruits of your labor.

Rewards are Fun: Everybody loves being rewarded –especially kids. Make the reward something positive for your child. For younger kids the reward might have to be given immediately while older kids can be rewarded weekly. And the reward doesn’t have to be money. Think about what your child loves most – candy, special dinners, clothes, toys, activities, smoothie money, etc. Ask your child what they believe the job is worth; it might take a little bartering, but once you reach a reasonable agreement, make sure they live up to their end of the bargain – and you live up to yours as well.  Be specific in laying out the guidelines and conditions, so nobody feels like they got the short end of the stick. Often times, your child will be excited to complete their chores when they know they will be rewarded for their efforts. Make sure your kids know you sincerely appreciate their hard work and determination.

It’s Not Negative: A lot of parents use chores as punishment and then scratch their heads in wonder as to why their children hate helping with them. When chores are connected to negativity, kids will also relate them to negative thoughts and behavior.  Show your kids the benefits of the chores.  Doing laundry can be a fun activity and a great example of instant results- dirty, smelly clothes go in and warm, fresh clothes come out. There’s more to mopping the floor than sore arms; it ensures health and safety – especially if there are crawlers in the family. When kids learn to connect chores to something positive, they will likely not be as cranky when they need to do them.

Get Involved: Take advantage of the opportunity to spend a little extra time with your child by doing the dishes or setting the table together. Whatever it is your child is supposed to be doing as a chore, it’s probably more fun to do it with you than alone. You can talk about the day, school, upcoming events, thoughts, jokes, etc. Before you know it, you will have enjoyed bonding with your child and the table will be set for dinner! Spending quality time is a home run every time. Yes, you have to give up some personal space and time, but the rewards and benefits for your child will exceed your expectations.

Give Them Options: Don’t be a dictator; give your child options and room for expression. Don’t make them do the same chore everyday – switch it up from time to time. Chore charts work well as do wheel-of-duty spinners. These allow children to shuffle through various chores so they don’t always have to dust the picture frames or clean the toilet. Structure is good, but options are excellent. Allowing your child to choose will also give them a greater sense of pride and responsibility in their work.  Walk around the house and search for areas that require chore duties, and have your child list them on the iPad or smart phone, then divide and conquer.

Start Young: Build chores and helpful activities into the lives of your kids beginning at a young age. If you’re folding towels, give your little one a small towel to fold. If you’re picking up toys, ask your child to help grab a couple of toys to put away. Pretty soon, helping with chores and duties will become natural for your child.

Be Flexible: Having your children involved in chores means it may not always be done to perfection. Letting your child fold clothes means not only teaching them how to fold properly, but knowing that you might need to re-fold a few along the way or simply living with the fact that it’s not perfect.

Robert Nickell, aka Daddy Nickell, father of 6, is the founder of Daddyscrubs.com, delivery room duds and daddy gear for dads, and the Daddyscrubs blog where he covers topics about parenting and the latest baby and kids gear, all from a Dad’s perspective.

The post Turn Your Kids into Happy Helpers with These Daddy Approved Suggestions!! appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

Even as a grown man, I still have trouble with the concept that it is better to give than receive. This has always seemed like an imponderable Zen Koan to me, like the sound of one hand clapping or the meaning behind Donald Trump’s hair. If I study the riddle long enough, the answer will reveal itself to me and I will be enlightened. But as my wife often reminds me, enlightenment is probably not in my future. You see, like a lot of men I know, I am missing the gift gene. This is not to say that I don’t know how to give, it simply means that I don’t know what to give. When challenged by gift ideas, my mind is like an Etch A Sketch in an earthquake.

To be honest, it is far more pleasurable receiving gifts. Call me selfish, but I would rather receive a billion dollars than earn it and give it away, just as I would rather receive an ugly sweater than suffer the humiliation of buying one for somebody else. I don’t think I am alone here-at least among men who are short a few chemicals in their DNA generosity sequence. I was probably eight or nine when I was first exposed to the riddle of giving. It was over the holidays and my mom informed that it was better to give than receive. I was drinking eggnog at the time, and I laughed so hard it exploded out my nose. Giving better than receiving? Who was she trying to kid? At that age, the only thing I could ever remember giving anyone was a headache; which was probably why I received the giving lecture.

It wasn’t until after I got married that I finally discovered the secret to heart-felt gift giving: nice jewelry. I learned this after a lot of coaching from my wife and one rather large misstep that involved a gift-wrapped Dust Buster. Given my history then, it is surprising that I recently found myself lecturing my own children on the importance of giving. This occurred after they set the kitchen table on fire during a candle lighting ceremony to celebrate Kwanzaa, Chanukah, and Christmas all at the same time. “What is the significance of all these celebrations?” I quizzed them, blowing away fragrant wisps of smoke. They looked at each other briefly, before shouting in unison, “to get more presents!”

“Giving is not about presents,” I told them, “it is about showing someone that you care by sharing something of yourself, whether it is something of value, assistance, or just plain thoughtfulness.” And then I left them with the puzzling words of my youth: It is far better to give, than to receive. They didn’t have a clue what I was talking about. As an unenlightened man, I didn’t really expect them to. But sitting at the table splattered in smoldering candle wax, I realized that on some level I do enjoy the act of giving.

I give to my children everyday. Their welfare and safety is more important than my own. Their physical and emotional needs come before mine. I happily give up the food from my plate if they are still hungry and my precious space in bed if they cannot sleep. I live to give them confidence, to give them choices, to give them chances to do things I never could. And sometimes I give them gifts for no other reason than to show them how special they are. And what do I get from all of this selfless giving? I receive the unburdened joy of snowy smiles, the urgent grasp of arms that can barely reach around my waist, and the warmth of small bodies that curl up in my lap. I receive more love than I can manage. And during the holidays I receive the unbridled excitement of kids anticipating more presents than I can possibly give. No, I don’t care what they say; it is far better to receive.

Digital Momories

I am the official photographer in my house. Ever since my children were born I have been the master of point and click, first with the digital camera, then with the mouse. As a result, I have hundreds of file folders on my computer filled with thousands of digital photos with intriguing identifications like, December or DCS1211. I have collected so many digital images over the years that I recently purchased a backup drive to store them all. By the time the transfer was complete it was out of warranty.

Most of these photos are of family and friends. The few photos where I am present my children snapped, and my head is either out of the frame or is blocked by a large UFO which looks suspiciously like a finger passing over the lens. In fact, the only image I have of my face is one I took a couple of years ago when I renewed my passport. I shot it in the mirror holding the camera at my chest. The outline of my head is just visible within the blinding white reflection of the camera flash. Unfortunately the passport agency rejected my self-portrait and shot one for me. “But I look just like Jesus!” I said in my defense as a photographer.

I can see it now. One day my grandchildren will be ogling over digitally enhanced images of holidays past. They will marvel that their parents were once kids too. And then, after awhile, a puzzled expression will creep across their faces and they will ask, why wasn’t Grandpa with you over the holiday? And my adult children will reply, who do you think took all the pictures? And the young ones will pause in the glow of endless electronic memories parading before their eyes and wonder, why did he take so many? This holiday season, whether you celebrate Chanukah or Christmas, please shoot responsibly and remember this: it is far better to make memories than it is to record them.

Dad’s Point of View – John Christmann is a freelance writer and all around good guy. He lives in Summit, NJ with his very tolerant wife and three children. His favorite color is plaid and he is afraid of machines and small dogs. You can check out his unique take on parenting at www.dadinthebox.com or fill up his inbox at john.christmann@dadinthebox.com.

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