You are both moving forward. Just not in the same direction.

And no one did anything wrong.

At first, it is subtle. You text less often. The conversations that once felt effortless now require more context. The things that feel urgent in your world feel distant in theirs. You are deep in one reality while they are navigating another.

You talk about preschool waitlists. They talk about spontaneous travel. You are calculating bedtime. They are calculating brunch reservations. You both try to show interest. You both genuinely care. But something feels slightly off.

It is not conflict. It is misalignment.

One of the hardest parts is when conversations start to feel like translations. You are describing your day and realize halfway through that it does not fully land. They are sharing something meaningful and you nod, but you cannot fully access the emotional weight of it because your daily experience looks so different now.

There is empathy. But it takes effort.

We grow up believing that the closest friendships are permanent fixtures. If someone is your person at twenty-three, they will be your person at forty. But adulthood does not move in straight lines. It curves and loops and pulls people into different seasons at different times.

Marriage. Divorce. Kids. Career pivots. Relocations. Health scares. Caregiving. Reinvention.

Each shift subtly reshapes who we are and what fills our days. Not every friendship can stretch comfortably across every version of you.

Sometimes you are the one who changed. You respond more slowly. You stop sharing as openly. You feel like explaining your life requires too much background. You worry that they think you are boring now, or you quietly think they feel chaotic. Then you feel guilty for even thinking that.

That guilt is part of the drift too.

Resentment can creep in quietly as well. You feel frustrated that they do not understand your time constraints. They feel frustrated that you are always unavailable. Nobody says it directly. Instead, everyone grows a little more careful, a little more distant.

Drift is rarely loud. It usually shows up as longer gaps between contact and fewer spontaneous moments of connection.

The reality is that adult friendship requires intention. Not dramatic, performative effort. Just steady, honest effort. Reaching out when you are tired. Making time that is not glamorous but meaningful. Being transparent about what you can realistically give in this season.

And sometimes, the truth is that neither of you has much left to give.

That does not mean the friendship lacked depth. It means life became heavier.

The friendships that survive these shifts are rarely identical to what they once were. They evolve. They allow space without assuming abandonment. They do not require constant proximity to feel secure. They are rooted less in frequency and more in mutual respect.

The friend who says, “I do not fully understand your season, but I care about you in it,” is the one who often stays.

It is also important to acknowledge that not every friendship is meant to remain central forever. Some are intense and brief. Some are steady and long. Some pause for years and return when life circles back around. There is grief in letting certain dynamics change, but there can also be relief in releasing the pressure to preserve something exactly as it was.

Friendship in adulthood may look quieter. It may be voice memos instead of marathon phone calls. Coffee squeezed between responsibilities. A text that says, “I saw this and thought of you.” It may not be constant, but it can still be real.

And if you find yourself wondering whether you are drifting from someone who once mattered deeply, the first move does not have to be dramatic. It can be simple.

Send the text.

Not to force things back into their old shape. Just to acknowledge that the connection mattered and still does in some form.

Because sometimes drift is not about distance.

It is about hesitation.

And hesitation can be bridged.

The post The Friendship Drift: When Life Stages No Longer Match appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

By Dana DeMercurio

It all starts with that infamous line: “I met someone.” Your best friend has captured the eye of some well-to-do insurance broker and slowly exits your life stage right.  You quickly find yourself without your partner in crime, not to mention single, unattached and childless.  You’re happy for her of course, but worried that you may have just lost a friend.

Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, and before you know it, you’re the MOH (Maid of Honor) at your bestie’s wedding.  This is surely the death of your friendship, you’re thinking.  And sadly, you might be right.

Is any of this sounding familiar? Because it’s kinda the story of many single girls’ lives.  Including mine.

Granted, I still talk to most of my married girlfriends, but things are…different.  Conversations inevitably turn to their children’s potty-training exploits or worse – how things are not so great in the bedroom since little Jack decided he was going to sleep between his parents every night. And all I can help but think is wow, is this really the same person that I would get party with on the weekends and flash truckers with during long-haul road trips?

Ahh, I miss those days.

Sure, the topics of discussion often make me cringe on the inside, but while I quietly relish in being single, I also know that I’m probably being judged for it as well.

“So, when are you getting married?” “You want kids, don’t you?” “30 is going to be here before you know it!”

Yeah, ladies… I get it. My biological clock is ticking.  I don’t need the reminder.  My uterus reminds me on the monthly.

Instead of shaming your single friends into fitting into societal norms, why not encourage them to embrace their single life and enjoy it while they have the chance?  It’s important for married women to remember that single women may not have the same domestic ambitions, or perhaps simply lack motherly instincts and child-bearing aspirations.  FYI – none of that is wrong. It’s okay that we are owning our convictions and not being peer-pressured into marriage or motherhood.

So what am I getting at? It’s enough that many single girls are often inadvertently cold-shouldered from their own friends once a man and children come into the picture, but this is a gentle reminder that single girls still need the love of their married friends, without the guilt trips and single-lifestyle-shaming.  Trust me when I say we get it enough from our own mothers.

People change, people grow older, people mature.  Just because your single friends aren’t on the same life path as you doesn’t mean they are going about life in the wrong way.  Be mindful and sensitive to the fact that being single is not always a choice, and life is not a race (especially to the altar).

Embrace each other’s choices, spend time rebuilding your friendship, invest in the future of your friendship, reminiscence about your youth and always remember that a friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.

The post Your Single Friends Need Love, Too! appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

As a parent to seven kids, I know as well as anyone that developing friendships is very important for children, but it is not always the easiest thing to do. Every child is different: some are outgoing and some are shy.

When helping or teaching your child to develop friendships, it’s important to teach the four following rules. These four rules have worked for my children in the past, and I hope they’ll work for you, too.

Give a Compliment: Explain to your child what a compliment is, how to give a compliment and how to receive one. Ask your own child if they like receiving compliments and why. If your child tells another child, “I like your purple shoes” or “Your car lunchbox is really neat,” It’s going to allow the two children to make a connection, share in their mutual “like,” appreciation and similar taste, and most importantly, they’ll begin to develop a friendship. Giving a compliment is also a great opportunity to open up a new line of conversation, as the child being complimented will likely continue talking after saying “thank you”. 

Share: Sharing is caring, right? Teaching your child how to share at a young age is very important. Make sure they’re prepared to share their belongings prior to being put into a situation where they may be asked to share, so that when you send your child to school with a new pack of crayons they’ll be ready and willing to share those crayons with others. Sharing also relates to friendship building skills in that it’s important to “share” a smile when someone smiles at you, to “share” in laughter when someone tells a joke – you get the idea. Sharing is fundamental in friendship building.

Say Hello: Simply saying “hi” to another person is sometimes all it takes to begin developing a new friendship. A wave and a smile can go a long way. Once your child feels confident saying hello to other children you can begin working on developing their conversation skills even more by teaching your child how to find a commonality by asking questions about favorites such as: “What’s your favorite sport?” or “What’s your favorite color?” or “What’s your favorite food?” Once they find a common favorite they can bond over that favorite by discussing whatever it is both children like or enjoy.

Be Positive: Most children are uniquely positive. Encourage them to always stay positive by setting a good example. Don’t make downtrodden comments around your child. Build other people up and make a point to talk about all of the wonderful things life offers. When a child is happy and positive other children will likely want to become friends simply because of their energy. You’ll likely be surprised to see how your own energy changes once you make the effort to flip the switch and focus on all things positive!

Making friends can be more difficult for some children than others. Encourage your child to keep trying and help them along the way; be patient. Making new friendships is a skill they’ll learn to rely upon through to adulthood.

Sincerely,

Daddy Nickell

Robert Nickell, aka Daddy Nickell, father of 7, offers his “5 cents” worth of advice to expectant and new parents.  Daddy Nickell is the founder of Daddyscrubs.com, delivery room duds and daddy gifts and apparel, and the DaddyScrubs blog where he covers topics about parenting all from a Dad’s perspective.

The post Helping Children Make Friends appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.