As a parent to seven kids, I know as well as anyone that developing friendships is very important for children, but it is not always the easiest thing to do. Every child is different: some are outgoing and some are shy.

When helping or teaching your child to develop friendships, it’s important to teach the four following rules. These four rules have worked for my children in the past, and I hope they’ll work for you, too.

Give a Compliment: Explain to your child what a compliment is, how to give a compliment and how to receive one. Ask your own child if they like receiving compliments and why. If your child tells another child, “I like your purple shoes” or “Your car lunchbox is really neat,” It’s going to allow the two children to make a connection, share in their mutual “like,” appreciation and similar taste, and most importantly, they’ll begin to develop a friendship. Giving a compliment is also a great opportunity to open up a new line of conversation, as the child being complimented will likely continue talking after saying “thank you”. 

Share: Sharing is caring, right? Teaching your child how to share at a young age is very important. Make sure they’re prepared to share their belongings prior to being put into a situation where they may be asked to share, so that when you send your child to school with a new pack of crayons they’ll be ready and willing to share those crayons with others. Sharing also relates to friendship building skills in that it’s important to “share” a smile when someone smiles at you, to “share” in laughter when someone tells a joke – you get the idea. Sharing is fundamental in friendship building.

Say Hello: Simply saying “hi” to another person is sometimes all it takes to begin developing a new friendship. A wave and a smile can go a long way. Once your child feels confident saying hello to other children you can begin working on developing their conversation skills even more by teaching your child how to find a commonality by asking questions about favorites such as: “What’s your favorite sport?” or “What’s your favorite color?” or “What’s your favorite food?” Once they find a common favorite they can bond over that favorite by discussing whatever it is both children like or enjoy.

Be Positive: Most children are uniquely positive. Encourage them to always stay positive by setting a good example. Don’t make downtrodden comments around your child. Build other people up and make a point to talk about all of the wonderful things life offers. When a child is happy and positive other children will likely want to become friends simply because of their energy. You’ll likely be surprised to see how your own energy changes once you make the effort to flip the switch and focus on all things positive!

Making friends can be more difficult for some children than others. Encourage your child to keep trying and help them along the way; be patient. Making new friendships is a skill they’ll learn to rely upon through to adulthood.

Sincerely,

Daddy Nickell

Robert Nickell, aka Daddy Nickell, father of 7, offers his “5 cents” worth of advice to expectant and new parents.  Daddy Nickell is the founder of Daddyscrubs.com, delivery room duds and daddy gifts and apparel, and the DaddyScrubs blog where he covers topics about parenting all from a Dad’s perspective.

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Swap Shopping

Do you have shoes, clothes, books or home decor you want to get rid of? Consider doing some swapping with your girlfriends. Everyone brings a few things they want to part with and you can “shop” each other’s stuff. This is a great idea for anyone on a tight budget. Don’t forget to each bring an inexpensive bottle of wine to celebrate your new finds!

Have a Spa Night

Does a night of relaxation and pampering sound like a good time to you? Light some candles and invite your BFF’s over for a night of homemade beauty treatments. Check out our site for a few great recipes. Want to get out of the house? Check with your local spas to see if they offer a friends package of some sort.

Try Something New

Have all your girlfriends write down one thing they have never done that they would love to do and try it as a group. Maybe you want to learn to rollerblade, take French lessons, sing karaoke, visit a winery or go skydiving. Something new is always more fun when you have a friend sharing the experience.

Get your Culture On

Many cities offer plenty of cultural activities and chances are you may not even know they are available. Check with your local chamber of commerce, the city paper, the internet or your local performing arts center to see what you’re missing out on. Take your friends and experience it together. Some great ideas include: theatre, a book signing, art museum, the ballet, open mic nights or a symphony.

Plan a Girlfriends Getaway

Leave the kiddos with the hubby for the weekend (or a sitter if you’re thinking… “that’s not happening”) and head to the beach or stay in a B&B tucked away in the mountains. Time bonding with friends will have you feeling refreshed and ready to take the mommy duties on full force when you return.

Bonfire with the BFF’s

Get your girlfriends, get your drink and get situated around a nice warm fire on a cool spring evening! Ok, if the boys are drawn to this idea (and they might be… most boys love fire) and you don’t mind them hanging out too, invite them to join you… sit a bbq grill nearby and let them do the cooking while you and the girls catch up on all the latest gossip!

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