As a parent I know that for every bit of fun and enjoyment to be had with children around, there’s always the possibility of consequences and necessary discipline, too. It’s the parent’s responsibility to teach their children right from wrong, as well, as how to behave, how to treat others, etc. – I know, it’s a BIG job! With seven kids of my own ranging in age from 8 months to 27 years old, I’ve learned a thing or two about being creative when it comes to consequences and discipline.

Motivate Positively: First things first, you can try to steer your children in the right direction to avoid some unnecessary (and not-so-fun) consequences and disciplinary actions simply by motivating them positively with some sort of reward system. Sticker charts are great as are coin jars and other similar items. With this idea you’ll be able to discuss behaviors and expectations early-on, and your child will know exactly what they’ll need to do in order to earn a sticker or have a nickel deposited in their coin jar. Your children will behave while working towards a reward and at the same time learning how to be a kind and contributing member of the family.

Consequence Jar: Just as your children will be able to have a nickel added to their coin jar or a sticker to their sticker chart for behaving well, they might also have to draw a Popsicle stick from the consequence jar when they misbehave. Some ideas for this jar include: early bedtime, no television for a night, an extra chore, a timeout, etc. A substitute to the consequence jar is a consequence spinner (you can even purchase them online) wherein your child spins a wheel in order to determine their consequence instead of drawing a Popsicle stick from a jar. With this method, your child is essentially choosing his or her own consequence and you’ll be around for the follow through.

Let Them Decide: By bringing your child into the conversation and letting them help determine their consequence they’ll be able to fully contemplate the severity of their actions as well as brainstorm what kinds of consequences would be equivalent to those poor or negative actions and behaviors. Writing up a behavior contract, and having your child sign it once you decide upon a consequence you both find suitable is also a great activity and possibly a bit of a consequence in itself. After your child sits and thinks about what they did wrong, determines what their consequence will be and then writes the whole thing out to sign they’ll likely have a whole new outlook and certainly won’t be confused about what they did wrong in the first place.

Teaching your children how they’re expected to behave on a day-to-day basis is difficult, and chances are you’ll have to discipline your children for their actions a time or two before they figure things out.

Good luck and happy parenting!

Sincerely,

Daddy Nickell

Parenting Expert and father of 7, Robert Nickell (aka Daddy Nickell) offers his “5 cents” worth of advice to expectant and new parents.  Daddy Nickell is the founder of Daddy & Co., delivery room duds and daddy gifts and apparel for every stage of fatherhood, and the Daily Daddy Blog.  He is also the creator and producer of “My Life as a Dad,” the groundbreaking new web series that showcases celebrity fathers offering their personal experiences and parenting tips.

The post Disciplining: Thinking Outside the Box appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

If you’re a football fan, your eyes have been glued to the news for updates on how the NFL is handling abuse issues within the league.  More than one player has their career on the line for making questionable decisions when it comes to disciplining their kids.  As parents, we all make mistakes and fall short from time to time, but when it comes to keeping our anger in check, we can’t afford to get it wrong.  Keeping kids safe has to be our number one priority.  Below you’ll find a few tips to help set boundaries and prevent tempers from flaring.

• Be proactive – Praise is a great tool for kids.  Kids will act out for attention, negative attention is better than no attention, so be proactive and keep them focused on things they do well.
• Be consistent – Kids need consistency to feel safe.  When they don’t feel safe, they will push boundaries so they know how far they can go.  Having a clear set of rules and consequences is vital for kids to thrive.  “No” always needs to mean “No.”  For instance, not playing on the stairs should never be up for discussion.  If kids can sometimes play on the stairs, it becomes a game for them and they will continue to test the waters.
• Validate their feelings – Toddlers can’t always articulate how they feel so they will act out in a tantrum.  Provide choices for them to feel empowered and deal with a situation they are not happy with.  For example, if a toddler doesn’t want to go in the car, explain that sometimes we all have do things we don’t want to do, then offer to let them bring their favorite book or doll on the trip.
• Designate a safe place – Time outs can be effective for older kids, but this tactic isn’t always effective for toddlers.  Create a cozy corner where they are not removed from the family but in a safe place where you can redirect their attention.  Stay calm until they can relax and get past their tantrum.
• Take time to cool down – Teach kids to count to 4 when they are upset.  Model that behavior when you’re upset and need to catch your breath before responding to the situation.  Providing a cooling down period can be beneficial for both of you in the midst of heated circumstances.

Discipline in its simplest form is teaching kids how to self-correct and how to behave in accordance with accepted rules at home, school or wherever life may take you.  Keeping that in mind, you don’t want to do anything that will undermine your ability to mold your kids into healthy well balanced people.  Never spank.  Hitting a child will kill any trust that exists in a parent / child relationship.  Spanking teaches kids to be aggressive and develop the need to protect themselves at all costs.  It destroys their ability to feel safe and accepted.  Hitting and love cannot be reconciled in a child’s mind; therefore, kids will develop an unhealthy association between love and abuse.  Providing age appropriate discipline and consequences will systematically train kids to develop healthy attitudes toward adult authority and boundaries.

About Jennifer Chung & Kinsights:
Jennifer Chung is a parenting expert and co-founder of Kinsights.com: part parenting community, part online health record. Kinsights provides parents with a safe place to seek answers to their questions while also helping them track their child’s health information. Organize your child’s growth and developmental milestones, immunizations, medications, allergies, and more.  Connect with Kinsights at https://kinsights.com to learn more and sign-up! You can also follow them on Facebook and Twitter (@kinsights).

The post Healthy Discipline Strategies For Your Kids appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

Co-parenting is challenging in any situation, but a separation or divorce certainly adds extra stress. Establishing consistency between parents, especially when it comes to discipline and setting boundaries, can certainly make the transition less rocky for the whole family.

1. Try to maintain the rules that existed when you were married. If your kids weren’t allowed to watch television before 7:00am, don’t suddenly make it okay to do that.  When everything in your child’s life seems to be changing, having structure around rules can provide a sense of stability.
2. Every divorce comes with its own set of communication issues between parents.  As much as you can, discuss big decisions and establish boundaries together. If you have a less-than-collaborative relationship with your ex, focus on the big issues and try not to sweat the smaller ones.  The key is to keep the rules within your respective homes consistent, so your kids know what to expect in each home.
3. If you are unable to be civil with each other, especially when it comes to parenting issues, consider having a third party help.
4. Don’t overturn each other’s decisions, and don’t say yes when you had agreed to say no. Being consistent will help you, your ex and your children.
5. Don’t pit your children against the other parent – this often happens with both married and divorced couples. No matter how frustrated, hurt or angry you are at your spouse, hold your tongue and find a trusted friend that can listen to you vent.

Going back and forth between houses and parents can be tough – taking as much uncertainty and guesswork out of the picture for your kids is an important part of the transition. Make sure that your kids know the routine, rules, and boundaries in each home.  And keep the lines of communication open with your children.  They may not proactively bring up their concerns, so checking in (even if they don’t want to talk) helps them know that you’re always available.

About Jennifer Chung & Kinsights.com

Jennifer Chung is a parenting expert and co-founder of Kinsights: part parenting community, part online health record. Kinsights provides parents with a safe place to seek answers to their questions while also helping them track their child’s health information. Organize your child’s growth and developmental milestones, immunizations, medications, allergies, and more.  Connect with Kinsights at https://kinsights.com to learn more and sign-up! You can also follow them on Facebook and Twitter (@kinsights).

The post Keeping Consistency In Disciplining Between Divorced Parents appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

As a parent I know that for every bit of fun and enjoyment to be had with children around there’s always the possibility of consequences and necessary discipline, too. It’s the parent’s responsibility to teach their children right from wrong, as well, as how to behave, how to treat others, etc. – I know, it’s a BIG job!

With seven kids of my own ranging in age from 8 months to 27 years old, I’ve learned a thing or two about being creative when it comes to consequences and discipline.

Motivate Positively: First things first, you can try to steer your children in the right direction to avoid some unnecessary (and not-so-fun) consequences and disciplinary actions simply by motivating them positively with some sort of reward system. Sticker charts are great as are coin jars and other similar items. With this idea you’ll be able to discuss behaviors and expectations early-on, and your child will know exactly what they’ll need to do in order to earn a sticker or have a nickel deposited in their coin jar. Your children will behave while working towards a reward and at the same time learning how to be a kind and contributing member of the family.

Consequence Jar: Just as your children will be able to have a nickel added to their coin jar or a sticker to their sticker chart for behaving well, they might also have to draw a Popsicle stick from the consequence jar when they misbehave. Some ideas for this jar include: early bedtime, no television for a night, an extra chore, a timeout, etc. A substitute to the consequence jar is a consequence spinner (you can even purchase them online) wherein your child spins a wheel in order to determine their consequence instead of drawing a Popsicle stick from a jar. With this method, your child is essentially choosing his or her own consequence and you’ll be around for the follow through.

Let Them Decide: By bringing your child into the conversation and letting them help determine their consequence they’ll be able to fully contemplate the severity of their actions as well as brainstorm what kinds of consequences would be equivalent to those poor or negative actions and behaviors. Writing up a behavior contract, and having your child sign it once you decide upon a consequence you both find suitable is also a great activity and possibly a bit of a consequence in itself. After your child sits and thinks about what they did wrong, determines what their consequence will be and then writes the whole thing out to sign they’ll likely have a whole new outlook and certainly won’t be confused about what they did wrong in the first place.

Teaching your children how they’re expected to behave on a day-to-day basis is difficult, and chances are you’ll have to discipline your children for their actions a time or two before they figure things out.

Good luck and happy parenting!

Daddy Nickell

Robert Nickell, aka Daddy Nickell, father of 7, offers his “5 cents” worth of advice to expectant and new parents.  Daddy Nickell is the founder of Daddyscrubs.com, delivery room duds and daddy gifts and apparel, and the DaddyScrubs blog where he covers topics about parenting all from a Dad’s perspective.

The post Think Outside the Box with Discipline appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.