Ellen Seidman, Care.com Contributor (www.care.com)

I have two loves of my life: My husband and my nanny. She’s been with us since my son was born seven years ago, and I do everything I can to let her know how much I adore her. Take the other evening, when I went to an event thrown by a local mom’s group. It was “spa night,” and we were treated to manis, pedis and massages. We could also make our own bath salts, poured into a little glass jar and tied with a ribbon. I knew right away what I was going to do with mine: I came home and handed it to our nanny. “It’s for you, so you can take a relaxing bath — you deserve it,” I said.

Granted, I sure could use a relaxing bath (or twenty) myself. But I’m always trying to make sure our nanny feels cared for. This is the woman who I trust to take care of my kids. She’s my partner, my copilot, my wing-woman in parenting. I want to keep her happy — and I want her to do good by my kids and me, too. And just like having a good relationship with my husband, that takes time and attention. Plenty of other moms I know feel the same — and have their own smart strategies. Read for yourself about the ways they’ve built great relationships with their nannies.

1.  Make Expectations Clear From Day One

“If you want your nanny to help with dinner or do laundry or light cleaning — and she’ll have the time free during the day to do them — let her know from the start,” says Betsy, a mom of one. “You don’t just want to spring major new demands on a nanny, because then she’ll feel taken advantage of.” Some moms refuse to ask their nannies do housework, as tempting as it may be. As Judy, a mom of one, says, “Sure, I’d like some help, but I don’t want to send the message that my baby isn’t the top priority. She is.”

2.  Care — Really Care — About Your Nanny

“I care about my babysitter’s mental and physical health as much as I care about my family’s,” says Denise, a mother of two. “I do it because she’s part of my family, and I want her to feel that way. Also, the healthier she is, the better she’ll be able to take care of my kids.”

3.  Pamper Her

“My babysitter has been with us since Brodie was 11 months old — now he’s five! — and I try to help her enjoy herself. You know, like giving her job perks!” says Dani. “I’ll tape some of her favorite shows on TiVo so she can watch them when Brodie’s asleep, and make sure I have her favorite snacks around.” Adds Betsy, “On my nanny’s birthday, I give her a personal gift — like a scarf — and some cash in an envelope, and I’ll have Melinda draw her a card. Really, she’s like my child’s other mother!” Hedy, a mother of two, goes even further: “I buy my nanny’s two kids presents for the holidays. It makes her really happy, too.”

4.  Don’t Get in Her Way

“My sitter has raised her own kids, so I generally give her a lot of autonomy,” says Kara, a mother of two. “Even if she does some things differently than I do, I figure it worked for her, no harm done. And we always make sure that our kids, who are two and five, know that her word is final when we’re not home. This has gotten important now that my oldest is playing more with kids in the neighborhood and asking them to go over, or to go to their house. Whatever Cynthia says goes! It conveys respect and also makes things run more smoothly.”

5.  Be Generous

Most moms give their nannies an end-of-year bonus (sometimes, as much as an extra week’s salary), plus an annual pay raise. “I believe really strongly in not nickel-and-diming my sitter,” notes Jessica, a mother of two. “If she works an extra half-hour, I’ll round up to an hour. If she bought my kids a $6 lunch, I’ll reimburse her $10. My friends think I’m crazy, but I see the payoff. She always comes when I need her, and more importantly, she’s happy and cheerful and works hard to make our lives better in every way.” Learn more about holiday tipping and bonuses for nannies »

6.  Pick Your Battles

“I avoid speaking up about minor stuff that bugs me,” says Kara. “Like, my babysitter has a habit of opening the microwave without first pressing ‘Stop.’ I think it could screw it up and if my husband did it, you’d better believe I’d ask him to stop! But I’ve held back. My philosophy is that the less I critique and make requests, the more impact it will have when I have an important change I want her to make.”

7.  Speak Up About Big Issues

“If I have to talk with our nanny about something I’m not happy about, I try to get home from work early so we can talk before she leaves, or I’ll ask her to come in a few minutes early in the morning,” says Joanna, a mom of two. “Leaving notes about biggie things is not okay — your nanny, and your children, deserve a discussion. If you leave a note, your nanny might feel attacked. It’s so easy to read the wrong tone in a note.”

8.  Help Her Stay Organized

“I have a large calendar hanging on the kitchen corkboard where I write down the kids’ activities and playdates,” says Hedy, a mother of twins. “That way we can remember what’s happening when. It keeps us both sane!”

The post 8 Ways to Have a Great Relationship with Your Nanny appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.

By Katie Bugbee

From September to June, your childcare is covered. Drop the kids at school and head to work. From sports practice, after-school activities or the after-school sitter you have for a few hours a day, everything runs smoothly.

That is, until June. Your sitter says she needs to be out of her dorm by a certain date, and once that final school bell rings, you have kids sitting around – waiting to be taken somewhere, played with, fed and tended to.

Here are some summer care ideas – with best practices for organizing them all in place:

1. Camp with extended hours: Camp is a great place for kids to thrive and challenge themselves with new friendships and activities. My friend’s son “grew up in one summer” after attending a certain day camp. Needless to say, we’re enrolling this summer. If you want to do drop-off and pick-up, look for a camp that will fit your work hours. Many have extended days that go from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.
2. Overnight camp: If your kids are ready, this frees up a lot of care concerns – even the weekend date-night babysitter need. Often these camps focus on a range of activities and interests, and create lifelong friendships. They tend to start at age 7 and can go from two to eight weeks.
3. Summer nanny: A 3-month job, this is great for teachers on school break, or college kids home for the summer. Place a job post in April or May and list your needs, the qualifications and personality type you are looking for. Will she cook? Be in charge of planning challenging activities? Do light housekeeping? Many parents plan summer nannies instead of camp, but charge the nanny with planning a fun activity each day. In a way, the nannies become camp — and can include other nannies and friends of the kids in the fun and games.  Always be sure to interview your candidates, run background checks, and call references (with tough questions) before you make an offer.
4. Part-time summer sitter: This is your part-time nanny who might help out every day, but only for a few hours. Perhaps she’s picking kids up from camp and taking them home to get dinner ready and unwind before you arrive. Or, she’s shuttling kids to and from activity and play date, depending on the day. Either way, she only works half-days or a few days a week. But she is depending on regularly. When hiring, you will want to use the same practices as hiring a nanny. Be sure to run your due-diligence and consider this someone who can be a role model, disciplinarian and general helper to your children. And if she’s driving them, be sure to run a driving record on your top candidates.
5. Family Co-op: Great for parents who work at home and know each other well. Gather 2-5 families and set up a schedule in which you care for each other’s kids for 1-2 days a week. Enroll the kids in the same activities or camps, and share car pool duties. 

The post Which Summer Care Option Works Best for You? appeared first on AKAMom Magazine.