Bedtime should be a time when kids feel safe and secure.  Regular bedtime rituals can help accomplish that, however, as kids’ imaginations start to grow, so do their fears.  Understanding where kids’ fears originate can help parents provide comfort and put things back into perspective.

Fear of the dark usually starts when kids are old enough to conjure up their own imagination.  Normally, this fear will hit kids between the ages of 2 or 3. At this age, they can imagine things but they don’t yet have the cognitive ability to distinguish between fantasy and reality.  So it’s easy for a shadow of tree branches blowing in the wind to turn into a scary monster.  Once lights go out, it’s easy for a child’s imagination to run wild.  To help alleviate their fear of the dark, read a bedtime story that has a happy ending or sing songs to leave positive thoughts in your child’s mind before they drift off to sleep.

Too much television can be overstimulating for small children.  Things that are appropriate for adults or older children are not always suitable for young kids, especially before bedtime.  Whether it is a violent news story or a dramatic movie, it can fuel the fire when it comes to fear of the dark. Limit the amount of time kids spend watching television as well as the types of programs they tune into. Try giving them a nice warm bath and talk about their day to get them ready for bed. Leave them with happy thoughts to ponder as they relax and fall asleep.

Books can also play a part in cultivating a child’s fear of the dark.  Books that have graphic illustrations of monsters or witches can live a full life in a child’s imagination after the lights go out.  If your child has a fear of monsters hiding in the closet or under the bed, create a bedtime ritual of checking all of the hiding places.  Having teddy bears stand guard can create a feeling of being safe while mommy and daddy are sleeping.

When kids misbehave, parents often say something like, “If you don’t behave, the boogie man will get you.”  What might sound like a light-hearted disciplinary tactic can backfire and cause kids to be on the lookout for the boogie man in the dark.  If your child has fearful outbursts, stay calm and let them talk about their fear.  Reassure them they are safe, offer to check on them in 5 minutes.  Be sure you peek in on them in case they are still awake.  Provide a favorite blanket or teddy bear for added security.

Life circumstances like the death of a pet or family member can play a part in kids’ fear of the dark.  Divorce and uncertainty of the future can also cause kids’ imaginations to skyrocket.  Talk to your pediatrician about how to relieve your child’s stress.  Seeking a counselor may be beneficial. An unbiased adult can help children release pent up emotions and prevent them from rearing their ugly heads at bedtime.

Most kids will outgrow their fear of the dark by the time they are 4 or 5 years old.  Once they can differentiate between real life and fantasy, fears will subside on their own.  Be patient and stay calm.  Don’t dismiss their fear, rather validate their feelings and give them tools to empower them to face their fear in a healthy way.

About Jennifer Chung & Kinsights:
Jennifer Chung is a parenting expert and co-founder of Kinsights.com: part parenting community, part online health record. Kinsights provides parents with a safe place to seek answers to their questions while also helping them track their child’s health information. Organize your child’s growth and developmental milestones, immunizations, medications, allergies, and more.  Connect with Kinsights at https://kinsights.com to learn more and sign-up! You can also follow them on Facebook and Twitter (@kinsights).

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Did you know the best preparation for back to school is a good night’s sleep? Lack of sleep can affect a child’s performance, attention, learning, behavior and biological functions, experts say. In fact, recent studies show that American students might be falling behind in school due to a lack of shut-eye.

With all the excitement and stress that accompanies the new school year, many children slip into a pattern all too familiar to tired parents. One more book, one more glass of water, one more TV show … the child who continually resists going to bed experiences difficulty in falling asleep, resulting in what doctors identify as limit-setting sleep disorder.

Parents can help children through the transition by creating an enjoyable bedtime routine that’s fun and relaxing, says Dr. Laura Sergis, pediatrician for the Children’s Medical Group and advisory board member at Cloud b, creators of award-winning products designed to help children sleep. The all important routine can include family story time with favorite books, sing-alongs to favorite lullabies and cuddly companions that alleviate night time fears with soothing sounds and lights. Incorporating a trusted buddy like Cloud b’s new Twilight Carz in the bedtime routine helps children transition from playtime to bedtime with its fun push and play action by day and its soothing starlight projection by night.

Sleep expert Kim West, licensed certified social worker, also known as The Sleep Lady, recommends that all electronics be turned off an hour before bedtime. Homework and getting bags together should be done before the one-hour electronics off time – the one hour should be for relaxing activities including bathing, washing up, reading, talking about the day, etc. Read stories like the new Scholastic classic, “My Turtle and Me”, inspired by Cloud b’s Twilight Turtle, an adorable plush that projects a soothing view of the night sky to comfort children to a peaceful night’s sleep.

Parents can add another magical element to the routine with Cloud b’s new Twilight Turtle Tunes that plays personalized lullabies featuring favorite songs, soothing sounds and even the voices of loving parents or caregivers as it projects a starry sky above. Parents put it all together on the Twilight Turtle Tunes app that delivers the magic to the special edition toy via Bluetooth.

In planning the ideal bedtime, West suggests parents do “the math backwards.” For example, if your 2-year-old needs to be up at 7 a.m. to get dressed and out the door to daycare, then he should be asleep by 8 p.m. (This age needs, on average, 11 hours at night and two hours during the day.)

She notes that it also goes without saying that parents should eliminate caffeine from their children’s diets. If it can’t be done completely, then no caffeine after 3 p.m. Dinner should be at least two hours before bedtime so that your child gets a chance to digest.

Finally, exercise during the day does help a child sleep better, but try to avoid exercise an hour before bedtime. Definitely avoid rough-housing, which can really rile up a child just when you want him to be settling down.

As parents find the best routine and stick to it, they’ll discover that the whole family is functioning better. Bedtime may become the best time of the day – a calm, quiet moment before slumber to make great memories and strengthen the bond between parents and children. -For more information on sleep-friendly toys and products, visit www.cloudb.com.

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Parents of toddlers know all too well that when you tell a child it’s bedtime they’ll likely use their newly found independence to get out of bed several times before actually going to sleep. It can be frustrating as a parent to put your child to bed multiple times every night. Well I’m here to help. With six kids of my own, I’ve learned a few tricks that have helped me in the past.

Make a Routine: The routine rules in my household, and a bedtime routine is just as important as any other. For my wife and I, our routine is as follows: 15 minutes prior to beginning the bedtime routine I’ll acknowledge the time to my children. When those 15 minutes are up we will head for the bathtub to begin the wind down. After bath time each child will get to pick out a book, and we will read the books together before finding our favorite stuffed animal getting in bed and saying goodnight. I then turn the reading lamp off and shut the door.

Don’t Give In: I, as most parents, have experienced my toddler getting out of bed after I put him to sleep. When this happens it’s important not to give in. Tell your child it’s bedtime and take him back to his bed, say goodnight and tuck him in. You’ll need to continue repeating this process until your child actually does go to sleep.

Have a Discussion: In some cases your child might be getting out of bed because something is scaring him or he isn’t feeling well. Kids won’t always come right out and say these things, so it’s important to talk with your child in order to determine if there’s some other reason as to why they don’t want to stay in their bedroom and sleep after bedtime.

Review Naptime Schedules: If you’re having a continuous problem with getting your child to sleep at bedtime maybe you need to review their naptime schedule because your child might not be tired enough to sleep. In my house, my boys wake up at 6:00 AM; they take a nap from 10:00 – 11:00 and again from 3:00 – 4:00. Their bedtime is 8:00 PM; this nap schedule has worked well for us, but depending on your child’s age and energy levels you might need to alter this to work better for you and your child.

Teaching your child to go to bed at bedtime can be a tough lesson. Stick with it, and you’ll get there eventually. 

Sincerely,

Daddy Nickell

Robert Nickell, aka Daddy Nickell, father of 6, offers his “5 cents” worth of advice to expectant and new parents.  Daddy Nickell is the founder of Daddyscrubs.com, delivery room duds and daddy gear for dads, and the Daddyscrubs.com blog where he covers topics about parenting and the latest baby and kids gear, all from a Dad’s perspective.

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