By Katie Bugbee, Care.com Senior Managing Editor

My goal: Raise siblings who were “close.” Close in age and close in friendship.

My plan: Have two kids as close together as (I felt was) possible.

My result: We had two kids under the age of two.

Granted, it was a very short time that my oldest child was still one, however, he barely spoke, was still in diapers and was attached at my hip. So adding a new baby was not the easiest transition. While I still can’t promise they’ll be best friends for life, here are some tricks that worked as we eased our second baby into our daily lives. If you find yourself in the same situation, I hope they’ll work for you.

And please share anything that worked for you below!

Create Special Toys for Quiet Times. It’s amazing how quickly you realize you can juggle once you have two kids. And while your hospital stay is all about you and your newborn, life at home will be focused on the big kid all over again. Until the baby cries or needs to eat. That’s when you need to figure out something he or she can do by himself, or with you helping one-handed. I recommend creating a special bin of toys and books for these times. You can call a fun name (the Lila-Bin) and when you need to nurse the baby – or have some peace and quiet — she takes her bin and pulls something “special” out.

Get a Baby Doll. It’s so hard to explain to a 1-year old that a new baby is coming home. Or that a baby is inside your belly. The good news is that in a few months, he won’t remember a time without his new sibling. But it’s important to create a loving sense of babies pre-and post-sibling arrival. While you’re still pregnant, get your child a baby doll he can hold, sway, and sing to. Include the baby in bedtime story routines, and have him be in charge of his baby. Then, once the new baby arrives, he can hold his baby when you hold yours. This should help him understand how to love and nurture a newborn.

Make all adjustments now. If you’re planning on moving big sister out of her room or crib, or change from daycare to a nanny, do it as far in advance as possible. You don’t want her to associate the new baby with the other big change that’s happened. I recommend not making any big changes, unless absolutely necessary. So many families rush the big-kid bed or start potty training to prep for a new baby, but your other baby isn’t ready, and two months later, you’re dealing with a toddler who won’t stay in bed or who is having accidents while on errands.  (And what’s worse than cleaning up after a toddler who has an accident in public? Cleaning up the accident with a crying newborn in tow.)

Give big sib jobs. There will be small ways you can let your oldest feel in control of all the change and attention the new baby is causing. Create jobs that he’d find fun, like letting him pick out the baby’s outfit, throwing out the dirty diaper, choosing a book to read, or singing him to sleep.

Create special time. Aim to set aside at least ten minutes of special 1-on-1 time for your older child each day. It might be while the baby is napping, right before bed, or when a partner or helper is home. Let her choose the activity (give choices) and play along. The sense that she has you alone will help keep her from acting out.

Allow for two babies. You might find that your oldest wants to be a baby again. He wants to drink from a bottle, be held more, get carried all the time. This is normal and okay. You won’t permanently set him back if you allow for baby-like behavior. Eventually, you can get him to talk about how cool it is to be big and the special things big kids can do – like go on swings, skip, have races, go sledding, choose books, say words, and pride in not being a baby will come back. But you might just have to accept two babies for a little while.

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Babies can grow up at an alarming rate (and not just physically!). Their brains, along with their five senses, needs the right kind of stimulation for proper development. Some parents start as early as the pregnancy stage by listening to classical music and taking pediatrician-recommended supplements. Once baby is born, however, you should continue to stimulate their mental, visual, auditory, and tactile capabilities with these simple but effective daily brain-boosters.

Talk to your baby all the time

Conversing with your baby in a soothing voice is a great way to bond with them. It’s also highly effective in building language skills and word association. You can read stories out loud with your baby, or simply “narrate” things you do regularly, such as describing the colors during outside strolls, or the texture of certain objects. Doing these will also aid you in developing baby’s visual, auditory, and tactile senses.

However, talking constantly in a loud, intimidating voice must be avoided. Many people are inclined to think that this is a form of discipline, but it will only create negative associations for your baby, and hinder learning progress.

Sing, dance & clap

Let the no-holds-barred silliness help you with your baby’s brain growth. Every chance you get, sing and dance for baby, with or without music. You can also clap along to nursery rhymes and encourage them to do the same.  It will help stimulate your child’s coordination skills and spark creativity at an early age.

Regularly provide all baby necessities and comforts

When your baby’s needs and comforts are met regularly, you are providing them with an environment conducive to learning. A baby who’s hungry, constantly needs diaper changing, is uncomfortable with the temperature and noise levels in the room, and who’s generally miserable will not be able to learn anything new.

Take baby out for walks

Invest in a durable and comfortable stroller that you can use to take your baby out for daily strolls. Choose one with a sun-protection canopy, a reliable safety harness, and durable wheels so you can focus on stimulating your baby’s senses outdoors. Point out trees, interesting cloud formation, and outdoor vignettes that can pique their interest. You can also bring baby to a place that’s filled with nice, aromatic smells, such as a bakeshop or a field of flowers.

Give your child gentle massages

Stimulating by touch, paired with talking in a calm voice, have been proven to aid baby with positive association. Many parents practice baby yoga on their little ones, but tactile development can be as easy as rubbing baby’s legs and arms with a gentle massage oil, and simply rocking them in your arms to sleep.

Get age-appropriate toys

Newborns and babies under a year old can appreciate a softly padded jungle gym. These typically come with playmats they can lie down on, and dangling soft toys of different textures which they can grasp or look at. Some can be installed on cribs and playpens, and can play music. As baby grows, toys usually become more colorful and educational. Soft building blocks and things that run on wheels can help with baby’s brain growth and sensory development.

Before buying a new toy, make sure to look up reviews to see if they are age-appropriate, and meet safety standards. Always be on the lookout for toy recalls so you can avoid those that pose safety and health hazards.

Enjoy your baby!

Julie McCaffrey

About Julie McCaffrey

Parenting expert Julie McCaffrey is a proud mommy to 3 kids and owns BabyNav Baby Planners where she offers personalized consultation to new and expecting parents along with functioning as the Chief Brand Officer at PishPoshBaby.com—the high-quality baby store that supplies the facts and advice, along with the right choice, to parents who are completely lost in the whirlwind of baby gear. She loves to help moms and dads navigate everything from baby gear, preparing for multiples, getting back to work and getting the whole family on a routine.

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Courtesy of PishPoshBaby

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Giving birth to a child goes hand in hand with a plethora of expectations. New parents anticipate being able to immediately hold this new life that has been growing for a solid nine months. They look forward to that first cry, that terribly sticky meconium diaper and the constant rousing of a wiggly newborn. Unfortunately for some, these scenes are experienced only in their imagination. Often for reasons unknown, mothers all over the world have these precious moments stripped from them following a premature labor or sick baby requiring a stay in the often unmentioned NICU.

Each year an estimated 40,000 babies are admitted to a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) for a variety of reasons. The majority, roughly 23,000, are admitted as a result of a premature birth (born before 37 weeks gestation). Despite these staggering statistics, discussions of the NICU are so taboo that many mothers forced into the NICU club are blown backwards by this red-headed stepchild of the postpartum world.

How is a mother to react following an unexpected emergency c-section to save her own and her baby’s life? What takes place after being told you cannot hold YOUR baby for days, sometimes weeks after birth? I had the pleasure of interviewing several brave mothers who experienced these exact scenarios.

Healthy Pregnancy at First

First, it is important to remember that sometimes a premature labor leading to time in the NICU can be completely unexpected. A sudden placental abruption can be all it takes to send your neonate on the fast track to the birth canal. This was the experience of Kim, 31 of Westlake, Ohio. Describing hers as being an “easy pregnancy”, she suddenly began “[having] a terrible pain on [her] left side that would not go away”. After consulting with her OB-GYN and having an ultrasound, the abruption was confirmed. Knowing that a premature delivery was unavoidable, Kim was injected with two steroid shots to aid in speedy lung development for her little guy. At 32 weeks, Kim was fortunate to deliver a 4 pound 1 ounce baby boy with the ability to breathe on his own, but his prematurity left him with a less than lackluster sucking reflex and spent the first six weeks in the NICU.

The Need to Breath

Premature labor alone is enough to send some newborns into the NICU. The last month of gestation is primarily for fattening the little chunkers up and developing their vital organs; lungs and breathing preparations in particular.

When premature labor progresses too quickly or the laboring mother is sent home with a false diagnosis, steroids cannot be administered to speed up lung development. Such was the scenario for Brittney, 20 of Cleveland, Ohio. Born at 34 weeks, her son was not breathing when he was born and required multiple resuscitations to get him breathing on his own; though it was still labored. Her son spent the first month of his life in the NICU.

When It’s Not a Surprise

Sometimes, the NICU isn’t a surprise for expectant mothers. Among the mothers interviewed, pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome were common culprits in expected NICU stints. Nicole, 33 of Seven Hills, Ohio; Betty, 26 of Parma, Ohio; and Rachel, 23 also from Parma were all diagnosed with Pre-eclampsia in their second to early third trimesters and were made aware of the possibility of early deliver by c-section.

When You’ve Got to Go…

For each of these mothers, experiencing the NICU hadn’t originally been a factor in their birth plan. For those without a previously detected condition that made pre-term delivery inevitable, learning that their newborn baby would be going to the NICU was an unpleasant surprise; and a terrifying one at that.

Despite the vast differences in what lead to admission into the NICU, the reactions were unanimous. Each mother felt, to some degree, “guilty that my body couldn’t [keep him in] like it was supposed to”, as stated by Nicole, 33. Many also stated they felt numb, with Kim, 31, going as far to say that she “was just going through the motions”. Naturally, crying was a standard release for these women as they sat idly by, waiting for their newborn to be healthy enough to go home.

Having your child moved to the NICU is generally not in the plan. When many mothers learn that their child will be moved, sometimes to a completely different hospital, they suddenly find themselves staring down the barrel of a completely unfamiliar path. They don’t know what to expect, let alone what to do. The latter stories are of course examples of the extreme. Many admitted NICU babies check out within a few days after only needing moderation or treatment for much milder ailments. But, had these mothers been familiar with the practices of the NICU, could they have perhaps been a little more at ease, and less terrified?

I think so.

To learn more about the top 50 Hospitals for Neonatology in the United States, follow this link taken from US News.

http://health.usnews.com/best-hospitals/pediatric-rankings/neonatal-care

To make a donation to the March of Dimes:

https://www.marchofdimes.com/giving/support-familes-in-the-nicu.aspx 

** Very special thanks to all the mothers who partook in sharing their NICU stories. All were not mentioned, but their stories touched my heart immensely. 

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Most people are probably familiar with the old adage which states that it’s not so much the destination as the journey that’s most important. And for those of us who have children, it is exactly the importance of the journey that cannot be emphasized enough.

Whether it is a short trip to the grocery store, a one-tank road trip or traveling across the country for a destination vacation, the safety of our children is a constant among all the possible variables on the itinerary.

Not only must the journey be kept in mind as far as the safety of each and every child, but ensuring the continued safety of our children once the destination has finally been reached is also something that needs to be taken into consideration.

To this end, companies such as Britax USA are making it easier for parents, whether traveling for vacation or simply on-the-go, to ensure the safety of their children by providing a remarkably comprehensive lineup of car seats, strollers and other accessories for both the inside and outside of the vehicle.

Britax was actually formed back in 1939, and for the last 70+ years, the company has been pioneering the child seat industry worldwide. Indeed, when Britax entered the American market in 1996, it only took a year for the British company to launch the very first convertible car seat in the U.S., the Roundabout.

Since its early beginnings in the child seat industry, Britax has become one of the most trusted car seats in America, as well as garnering the accolade of best-selling car seat in Europe

Indeed, it is from this very first introduction of convertible car seats that, in 2010, Britax redesigned the line to create safer convertible car seats, such as the Boulevard 70-G3.

The new series of car seats, like the Boulevard 70-G3, is outfitted with Britax’s patented SafeCell technology, where the SafeCells, an engineered structure designed to compress in the event of a crash, counteract the forward propulsion that can take place with typical car seats.   

The Boulevard 70-G3, then, weighing in at 19.5 pounds, is an exemplary model of what car seat safety can embody. The Boulevard supports up to 70 pounds of weight, thereby ensuring that, as your child grows, the Boulevard will still provide adequate safety and comfort for your child just as it did at the time of purchase!

An added comfort for your child is the fact that the Boulevard offers an option for both rear and forward facing reclining. This feature, as well as the extra layer of padding included from High Density Comfort Foam, will support your child with the ultimate amount of comfort.

The Boulevard 70-G3 also comes with Britax’s energy-absorbing Versa-Tether, which is located on the back, upper part of the child seat. This latch system, essentially a strap that hooks onto an anchor in your vehicle, allows the child seat to be comfortably tethered to the vehicle in either the forward-facing or rear-facing position.

The Boulevard 70-G3 also comes with an easy-to-remove cover (with 8 different fabric options, including Silver Birch and Aztec, available), matching comfort pads and an infant body pillow. These convenient features allow the Boulevard to be cleaned easily without uninstalling it or even disassembling the child seat.

In addition to the wonderful advancements that Britax has made with redesigning the line of convertible car seats, is the plethora of accessories that can be purchased to accompany the car seats. These products also speak to the company’s dedicated focus on child safety and innovative technology.

One such inventive accessory is the Britax Back Seat Mirror, which is not only compatible with most vehicle head restraints, but also provides a view of your child at any angle while the car seat is in the rear-facing position. Likewise, the Britax Vehicle Seat Protector is designed with non-slip material and raised edges to catch spills and debris, making the vehicle seat protector a breeze to cleanup. The seat protector is also waterproof, while a front seat guard helps to defend the front of the vehicle seat from your child’s shoes.

Britax also makes convenient car seat covers, such as removable covers to keep out the rain, sun and bugs.

To ensure the ultimate amount of fun once the destination is finally reached, Britax also provides stroller accessories. Strollers can be purchased with rain, mosquito and sun covers as well, while useful accessories, such as pouches and organizers for holding assorted items, as well as a cup holder set for children that can be attached to strollers, are also available. There is also the option of purchasing the Britax B-AGILE Child Tray, a useful accessory to match the cup holders and to ensure storage and eating opportunities for your child while on the go.

Regardless of the accessories, however, it is clear to see that Britax USA stops at no cost to ensure the safety of children. With such devotion and care for consumers, it’s no wonder that parents purchase these products with not so much the cost involved in mind, but the equal care and concern for the safety and well-being of future generations: http://www.britaxusa.com/   

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As we all know, every child teethes! Some babies pop out sporting a tooth, while most will have their first tooth appear around 5-6 months. By age 2, most toddlers will have a mouth full of 20 beautiful, new teeth. If you think about it, that is a lot of work for a baby’s mouth and gums. It’s also a lot of work for the parents of that growing child. Every parent I speak with has a different story. Some children aren’t at all fazed by the process while others are miserable for months.

My kids, now 5 and 3, were on the miserable end of the scale. They both started teething very early. My first child would cry and gnaw on everything from crib rails and fingers to washcloths. Although the teething process started early, she was late to have her first teeth appear and had only 2 teeth on her first birthday.

I remember so clearly how helpless I felt seeing my child in pain. I tried everything to help her: natural remedies, breastfeeding, medication, massage, and teething toy after teething toy. What I found was that she seemed to teethe best on items that I didn’t want in her mouth! Can you relate?

On my journey as a mother and in starting a teething toy company, I have learned many valuable things. Here are a few important lessons that I’d like to share.

1. Teething is a process.

Your child will need a variety of tools to help ease the pain. Sometimes they need hard surfaces to help the teeth move closer to the gumline. Sometimes they need cool surfaces to ease sore, swollen gums as the teeth surface. Follow your child’s lead.

2. Keep things simple!

Be aware of chemicals and possible toxins that are in items your baby is chewing on. The more natural the product is, the better it is for your baby. That being said, you always need to make sure the items you give your child are not choking hazards. One easy way to test if something is potentially dangerous is to perform the “toilet paper roll test”. If an object you’re considering giving your child falls easily through the centre of a toilet paper roll, your child could choke on it.

3. This too shall pass.

On those REALLY hard days, when you feel helpless and your child is rashy, drooly, and uncomfortable, remember, the teeth will come in eventually and the discomfort will ease. I have learned from my experience working at a children’s hospital that a child can feel their parent’s stress and anxiety. As much as possible, in those times of unrest, try to stay calm. Perhaps sing to your child. It can be a great way to distract you both and bring comfort to the situation.

Enjoy the journey,

Shaindy

About Shaindy Alexander: A creative entrepreneur and mother of two, Shaindy Alexander brings years of experience in child development to her work as founder and creator of RiNGLEY natural teething toys (www.ringlenatuaralteethingtoys.com).  When she’s not creating new RiNGLEY products or overseeing her company’s global success, Alexander works as a Child Life Specialist at Toronto’s Hospital for Sick Children. In this role, she supports children and their families through stressful experiences.

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