By Dana DeMercurio
Whether you’re dating, married or check the box for “it’s complicated,” it’s time to consider some serious relationship revamping this spring. Here are a few helpful tips to get you started.
Out With the Old Lovin’ and In With the New
Remember when sex with your partner was wild, fun, carefree and spontaneous? If the answer is, “I can’t remember that far back,” then this is for you. It’s time to brush up your moves in the bedroom and let loose when in-between the sheets. Better yet, forget the sheets altogether and enjoy a new place to get playful with your man. If you need a little boost of creativity, may we suggest kamasutra?! Whichever way you choose to explore new ways of intimacy with your partner, just remember that breaking through the monotony is the goal.
Pick up the phone and dial Grandma, Grandpa, sister, brother, best friend, nanny or teenager down the street – call whoever you need to watch the kids so you and your partner can get the hell out of town! Book a quick weekend getaway (or longer if you can swing it!), and enjoy some rejuvenating time together. If you start planning and saving together, it will give the two of you something to look forward to and anticipate in the near future.
Have a Faux First Date
Regardless of however long you’ve been married or dating, there are still some things you will never learn about your partner unless you ask. Plan a date night where the two of you recreate the first time you met – sans the harsh interview-esque feeling that tends to put a damper on the situation. Go out for a casual dinner or cocktail, and ask heartfelt questions about your partner’s life goals and dreams, favorite memories from childhood and what makes them a perfect match for you. It’s a great opportunity to fall in love with each other all over again.
Break the Rules
When it comes to relationship advice, we’ve all heard the same things: Don’t go to bed angry, be 100% perfectly honest about your past relationships, your children have to come first, and you should have sex with your partner to make him/her happy. But who made these rules and why do we have to follow them? If we don’t, is the relationship doomed? Short answer: probably not. Relationships are extremely tender and unique and should be nurtured according to personal beliefs the two of you share. There’s no all-encompassing guide in the history of human existence that states, “If you do all of these things for your relationship, you will be successful.” Sorry, that’s not how life (and especially relationships) work. If you’ve been following these antiquated rules, it’s definitely time to break them. Here’s why: fighting late at night has the potential to make mountains out of molehills. It’s probably best to sleep on it, wake up refreshed, and start the conversation again when you’ve had a good night’s sleep. As far as being honest about past relationships, it’s pretty simple. The past is the past. There is no re-writing history, so why delve into it? Putting your children first often puts a wedge in a relationship. Parents can easily lose sight of their partner, making him/her feel unloved and unwanted. This behavior and approach to parenthood may need to be curbed if you see it affected your marriage. Last but definitely not least, sex is about both of you. Sure, it often seems like a chore, but sex is healthy and necessary for a marriage to function properly. Take that into consideration the next time you think about skipping your orgasm.